Pirate King Ted Stevens Is Sunk

• Barack Obama explained how stopping global warming will also save the American economy. Green-collar jobs, people! [ San Francisco Chronicle ]

• A judge closed public access to the trial of three men allegedly involved in the murder of a Russian reporter. Jurors apparently wouldn't go into the courtroom if members of the media were there. [ BBC News ]

• Vinegar Joe Lieberman may have escaped the wrath of his fellow Senators, but he still has his colleagues back home to worry about. [ AP ]

• PIRATE BATTLES rage across the earth's many oceans, particularly the Gulf of Aden, where a suspected "pirate mother ship" has been sunk. Brigands still roam the seas, however. [ AP ]

• The heads of America's three largest automakers testified before the Senate yesterday and managed to piss off everyone, Republican and Democrat alike, with their evasions coupled with pleas for billions more dollars so they can continue to make shitty cars that nobody wants to buy. [ Washington Post ]

• God closed that door that Sarah Palin was hoping to "plow through." We are spared a Senator Palin ...for now.[ New York Times ]