Please Do Not Cuss In Front Of The Reflecting Pool, It'll Tear The Cheap Vinyl Liner

Also it is illegal and you will be summarily executed. Freedom!

The above-ground pool salesman who ‘fixed’ the Reflecting Pool

We would like to tell you about some Oklahoma state troopers and members of the Park Police, all of whom are proud members of Der Führer’s stormtrooper brigade now, we reckon.

We don’t know what any of these cops’ bitchass shitmouthed pigfuckin’ names are, or who their loser fuckin’ little beta dads are, or who their slatternly goddamn strumpet-ass-lookin’ moms are, or anything about them really, except that they apparently get real offended when people cuss in front of Donald Trump’s piece of shit, cheap-ass, brokedick, badly contracted, badly renovated Reflecting Pool.

We guess on top of being longer than the Empire State Building if you were able to stand it up on its hind legs, the Reflecting Pool is impressionable and repeats everything it hears.

Also we reckon when you’re the kind of cop who thinks you’re doing an honorable and important job protecting Donald Trump’s bargain-basement vinyl liners from people threatening to point and laugh at them, you are probably also the type of absolute loser who gets upset when people say swears.

So in that situation you — because you’re a joke and a bootlicking fascist — have the Park Police haul the man away in handcuffs, for cussing.

Here is a video report of the arrested guy speaking out, from noted journalism outfit TMZ:

The Guardian explains that what happened here is that a local DC resident named Christian Miles was talking absolute shit at Oklahoma state troopers, who we guess are taking time out of whatever racist totalitarian shit cops do in Oklahoma to “protect” Donald Trump’s clownishly botched re-do of the Reflecting Pool. (The paper notes that, despite Trump’s lies, nobody who has been arrested for damaging the Reflecting Pool has actually been accused of, you know, damaging it. One is a former Olympian.)

Miles fills in some blanks:

[Miles] told the Guardian on Tuesday that he was charged with violating a federal obscenity law for berating a group of Oklahoma state troopers guarding the reflecting pool.

Miles, a freelance video editor and former US navy submariner, has made it a personal project in recent months to “document the creeping police state” since Trump’s federal takeover of policing in Washington DC by filming himself confronting, and often berating, federal troops and officers around the city.

You may also watch the video of Miles yelling at the Oklahoma troopers. (He’s done this before.)

We like the part where the troopers, like all poorly educated American fascists, explain that actually this is freedom because “Go to China, they’d run over you in a tank in Red Square!”

Always have hated those pesky Chinese tanks in Red Square.

Anyway, here is one of the official training videos for the Park Police and the Oklahoma State Troopers:

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In related news, the Park Police has put out a BOLO (Be On the LookOut) for the person who appears in this surveillance video clearly committing the crime of aggravated touching the water in the Reflecting Pool. We don’t know if she whispered any forbidden cusses like “cuntswallop” or “poot” in the Reflecting Pool’s ear, but might as well assume she did:

“The incident.”

Also being noted in the comments of that BOLO tweet:

Yes, that is indeed a thing that happened.

Fucking degenerates.

Finally, yesterday, President Dementia Sharts forced NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte to sit there and keep a straight face for 11 SOLID MINUTES as he blabbered and blubbered and babbled and jangled keys around in his brain about imaginary Reflecting Pool vandalism. (Rutte didn’t mind, he is a tongue-bathing kiss-ass.)

It was, um, well … well, it sure was something!

Here, via Aaron Rupar, is the full 11:55 clip. After that, some shorter excerpts:

“They have a gash on that beautiful pool. It’s a reflecting one!”

There are a lot of lines in that 11 minutes, but we think that’s our favorite, on top of the lies about Obama and Biden spending hundreds of millions of imaginary dollars trying to fix the Reflecting Pool.

They sure do tell Grandpa a lot of stories up there in that White House.

"They’re sick people. I think they’re in big trouble!”

“Here’s the bottom line,” Trump said, before he ranted for seven more minutes.

“You know, grass has a life just like people have a life.”

“They took razor blades, 350 feet. […] They took razor blades and knives and they cut patches like that 350 feet long. […] They cut the lining! And there’s pictures of a guy bending over. I don’t know if anybody saw that!”

Well, considering how Trump hallucinated it inside one of the most seemingly syphilis-infected crevices of his cranial cavity, we imagine there aren’t any pictures of it, at least not until Trump sits on the toilet and starts retweeting AI posts on Truth Social later.

“Ready? THUGS!”

They got the guy, he’s a member of ActBlue! Big Hillary supporter! (It is still 2016 in Trump’s diseased brain.) Big Sleepy Joe supporter! (It is also 2020 in Trump’s diseased brain.)

Factcheck, nobody did anything to the Reflecting Pool. There is no slit, there is no gash. (Here is a good Jim Acosta report on what it actually does look like.)

Donald Trump is just a shitty businessman and a shitty contractor aaaaaaand he’s a grifter. Put it all together! What do you get?

You get the green, chunky algae piece of shit Reflecting Pool that looks like an above-ground swimming pool in the backyard of a foreclosed house in the suburbs.

That’s what you get.

Trump ended the long rant above, and the entire press availability, like this:

“But the 350-foot gash in the side, it’s a terrible thing. Ready? I’m gonna end on this. I’m so proud of Washignton DC, it’s become one of the hottest cities in the world, but what is the hottest thing in the world is the United States of America, we have the hottest city, you know that, you were talking about that two years ago we were laughed at, we were a joke, we were a dead country, now we’re the hottest country anywhere in the world, thank you very much everybody!”

And then, we imagine, they wheeled Ozymandias off as quickly as possible so he could shit his pants somewhere between the Oval and the Residence.

OPEN THREAD.

[Guardian]

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