Police Corruption!: A Toys For Tots Ponzi Scheme

• On Christmas, four DC cops were videotaped stealing from Toys for Tots. Dick Cheney will subpoena this video and masturbate to it until Valentine's Day. [ DC Examiner ]

• Former Post executive editor Len Downie writes smutty fan-fiction about Ben Bradlee, our nation's first lady. [ Washingtonian ]

• The Washington   Post and the Baltimore   Sun will now share stories, but only those about "certain Maryland news" (traffic on the Beltways?) and sports. [ Fishbowl DC ]

• Barry's face will now grace Metro farecards, just like an actual fascist dictatorship. [ WTOP ]

• The cause of Bethesda's terrible Biblical flood is still a mystery, but a sublime mystery. [ Washington Post ]