Political Media Still Trying To Make Nikki Haley Happen

It's your very pre-holiday Sunday show rundown!

The merriest of time of the year has almost arrived for political news media! No, not Christmas or the new year — it’s almost Republican caucus time!!!

ABC’s “This Week” host Jonathan Karl could barely contain his excitement during the show’s intro while lamenting that he (and the rest of the media) might not get what they want.

KARL: Not a single voter has voted yet, but with just four weeks until the Iowa caucuses and five weeks until the first primary votes are cast in New Hampshire, it looks like Donald Trump has an insurmountable lead, at least if you believe the polls. In fact, our colleagues at FiveThirtyEight have looked at the historical data and found that no presidential candidate in history has ever been this far ahead in the national polls, as Trump is at this point in the cycle, and gone on to lose the nomination.

The latest Fox News poll certainly doesn’t change that equation.

If DeSantis dropped out, Trump could have 80 percent Republican primary support!

But they sure will try! Karl generously gave presidential candidate Nikki Haley a 17-minute plus segment this week.

But like every responsible adult warning Ralphie in A Christmas Story that “you’ll shoot your eye out,” I guess your trusty Wonkette has to be the responsible adult this one time! (Give us praise in the form of a subscription!)

Karl started with what we assume he thought was a rousing intro.

KARL: This week one candidate hoping to break that historical trend, Nikki Haley, secured the endorsement of New Hampshire's popular governor, Chris Sununu. It's just the latest sign of momentum […]

You can imagine Karl’s internal voice exclaiming, “Wow!! They brought the fuck magnet charisma of Chris Sununu!” Barely containing his orgasmic delight, he thinks to himself, “Who knew knew that Haley could garner such a powerful endorsement!?”

Of course, for those of us who have long-term memories or are cursed to know time is a flat circle, this was all déjà vu from 2012 but in reverse.

(Haley also endorsed Marco Rubio, who lost the South Carolina primary to Trump. She’s not great at endorsements.)

While Haley tries to look like a viable Trump alternative, her inability to fully commit to attacking the clear frontrunner reminds everyone she’s Vivek Ramaswamy without techbro douchiness and smarm.

Even Karl seemed to notice when Haley kept describing Trump’s chaos as mere happenstance rather than direct consequences.

KARL: I hear you say that a lot, chaos follows him, but is it chaos follows him, or does he create the chaos? I mean that sounds so passive, he … chaos follows him.

Haley did nothing to dissuade that notion while being overconfident of her general election chances.

HALEY: I mean I … rightly or wrongly. You call it whatever you want to call it. But when you feel it, it’s chaos. When I tell these rooms that, they all nod their head. They get it. It’s the chaos. And you look at these general election polls and Biden and Trump are head-to-head. It’s going to be another nail-biter. I defeat Biden by 17 points. That’s a total mandate.

According to the same earlier Fox News poll, Haley is not beating Trump by 17 points.

Her stated “mandate” becomes even more illusory when you look at the latest polls that show President Joe Biden losing ONLY to Donald Trump in the general election.

Source: FiveThirtyEight

Haley is basically polling as Ron DeSantis in better heels.

When Karl finally moved from questions regarding Trump or this Sununu endorsement hype, he asked Haley about abortion. More specifically, the infuriating and tragic case of Kate Cox in Texas.

Haley tried to dodge the question.

KARL: […] Did you … you disagree with that decision by the Texas Supreme Court?

HALEY: Well, I think it is the right thing that unelected justices no longer decide this, and it’s in the hands of the people. […]

She continued:

HALEY: […] I appreciate that Texas went more on the pro-life side, but as we go through this … listen, my heart broke for her because I had trouble having my children. These … the states are now going to have to look at these because what we don't want to see is a woman with a rare condition having to carry a baby until term […]

(Translation: “Thoughts and Prayers” for your forced pregnancy.)

Karl, awakened momentarily from his Sununu charm hypnosis, noticed the dodged question and asked again. Haley refused to answer if the Texas Supreme Court made the right decision and tried to excuse her cowardice in the guise of “they were just following orders the law.”

Sununu even tried to defend Haley using the same point, but Karl was now immune to his charm and called bullshit by pointing out the hypocrisy.

KARL: The problem was the law. The problem was not the court’s decision. Is that what it was?

SUNUNU: The courts … the court’s only …. only decision is, is the law — are they following the law.

HALEY: To interpret the law.

SUNUNU: So, I think what Nikki’s saying exactly right is —

KARL: Well, a lower court ruled one way. The Supreme Court ruled another way.

Nikki Haley is the new “fetch” and with similar results.

Have a week and very happy holidays!

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