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wavicles's avatar

Couldn't Mr. Johnson pray to his Lord God for some guidance?

What's that?.. all day long? Oh, I see. Nobody's listening.

Rabbit Rebozo's avatar

"Let’s just say that if God chose Mike Johnson for this role, God is a mean and hilarious dick who likes to watch people fail."

'God, isn't God a shit! "

- Randolph Churchill

Boojum's avatar

He is Moses if Moses was wandering around in the desert for forty years for a trip that should have taken half a week, which is actually how long it should have taken Moses to walk from Egypt to Israel.

I think God told Mike Johnson "you're another fucking Moses, aren't you? You're going to dither around and take forever to get nowhere. I give up!"

Zyxomma's avatar

Johnson's a fucking moron. In fact, he's such an idiot, he makes morons look smart.

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Is the amount of passion a Republican congresscritter exhibits for Vlad directly proportional to the type of kompromat Vlad has on them?

The shit he must have on Matt Gaetz...

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I think he has taken Epstein's place, and is using his connections to use young girls for party favors to the skeevy old republicans who are fine with paying for it. Then the blackmail begins.

SterWonk's avatar

> It would also require pretty much all Democrats to be on board, and Playbook says somewhere between 15 and 35 progressives might not be, because of the $14 billion in the Senate’s bill for Israel.

FWIW, I doubt very much that any Democrats will not sign / will remove their signature from a discharge petition. They may well vote against the bill on the floor, if there are enough Republican votes to make up for them and allow it to pass, but they'll let it reach the floor.

Runfastandwin's avatar

A. no. B. God is a mean and hilarious dick who likes to watch people fail. It was ever thus, read the bibble.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

See: Job, and Lot's wife.

tek's avatar

On God's choosing Mike Johnson, it is important to remember the words of Rt. Rev. George Carlin:

𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘. 𝐼𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝐺𝑜𝑑 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑜, 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑒𝑑. 𝑅𝑒𝑠𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑠 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑠𝑒 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒́𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑒́ 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑆𝑢𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒 𝐵𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢'𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑓𝑓𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑒𝑚𝑝 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑏𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑖𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒.

Wookiee Monster's avatar

Does he still want to be Moses and lead republicans to the promised land of white Christian nationalism?

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Moses doesn't fare well in that part of the story.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Shh, don't tell him, they never read that book, they just use it as a prop.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Sort of OT, but not really because Evan cites to Greg Sargent.

As part of my continuing series entitled “Fuck Off, WaPo,” I really miss Sargent’s writing at WaPo. I don’t know the circumstances of his departure, but it appears to be part of WaPo’s continuing efforts to turn itself into the WSJ by limiting liberal voices and elevating RWNJs.

Which brings me to a point I didn’t cover in my Note on Monday about TFG’s application for stay with SCOTUS in the DC election interference case. TFG’s attorneys cited not one, but TWO op-eds written by Jason Willick, WaPo’s newest right-wing hack (along with others from the WSJ and other right-wing authors/publications). Why in the actual fuck are political op-eds being cited in a brief to SCOTUS?! Fuck if I know; I generally only cited to legal authorities when writing briefs.*

*Except for that one time I cited MacBeth, Act V, Scene V.

fuflans's avatar

well hell, what was it? was it the big one? it was probably the big one.

though i like:

Blow, wind! come, wrack!

At least we'll die with harness on our back.

also the simplicity of 'the queen, my lord, is dead'.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Willick must have been there close to a year, now because he was one of the last straws for me when I bailed, because they were turning into Fox-news lite, what with praising forced-birthers and such shit. Every abortion rights article quotes the brain-damaged Kristan Hawkins head of 'students' (for forced breeding). How far they have fallen from the paper that published the "Pentagon Papers". Buzbee would never allow her 'team' to look bad.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

I know nothing about Willick, except the few times I accidentally clicked on a post because of the headline, and I was like “Who the fuck wrote this drivel?”

And on those few times I read a piece, he always got dragged in the comments, which are generally written by people who know what the fuck they’re talking about. I wish the editorial staff would read the comments so they know who their subscriber base actually is, but apparently that’s a pipe dream.

I cancelled last year, but then they offered me a re-subscription for peanuts, so I look it. I won’t get fooled again.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

He came from the Wall Street Journal, the editorial nutbar pages. In short, he's a Murdoch plant. And also impervious to reality and Bat-shit crazy. In a way he is almost the other half of Jane gault, the libertarian, known as Meagan McArdle, who I refer to as Argle-bargle.

From Wiki:

"Jason Willick writes a regular Washington Post column on legal issues, political ideas and foreign affairs. Before coming to The Post in 2022, he was an editorial writer and assistant editorial features editor for the Wall Street Journal, and before that a staff writer and associate editor at the American Interest.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

So, I did some more digging. He apparently doesn’t have a Wiki page, but the quote you cited above comes from his WaPo profile.

He opines on “legal issues,” but the motherfucker doesn’t even have a law degree. His only higher education is a BA In history from Stanford.

He was also listed in Forbes “30 under 30” list in 2018, which would make him in his 30s now, at best. Yep, totally qualified to have at least 2 opinion articles cited in a SCOTUS brief.

Frankly, I’m starting to wonder if Willick isn’t just an AI creation.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

You know that isn't as crazy as it might have sounded a few years ago.

Sorry I looked at several descriptions I thought I pulled it from wiki but must have got it from wapo.

Speaking of WaPo didn't they just hire a new publisher from the Natonal Review? I thought Fred Ryan the reagan library dude was right-wing nuts.

Pilgrim's avatar

"MAIN IDEA: If people want to get this shit done bad enough, they can."

There's the whole thing about the Human Race right there. LAZY gd'dn fukers.

Enbastet's avatar

Johnson is not the issue. The issue is the at least 30 Republicans who ran and won on their military backgrounds who are not forming a coalition to back the bill.

So they get primaried as a result? They might still win and even if they don't they will have an assured spot on MSNBC.

Seriously - you'd at least expect Crenshaw to be doing this because it would be so self-fluffing.

The craveness is just too reflexive now and Johnson knows that he can bank on it.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I call him Human-like, live action figure Dan Crenshaw, thanks Evan, or Dok.

User's avatar
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Feb 14, 2024
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gene108's avatar

Closed primaries where only the MAGA faithful turn up to vote is very different than winning the general election.

You Should Ice That Burn's avatar

PAB has his flying monkeys all hot and bothered, phoning in death threats, cutting off their Dad's head...

Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Democrats get death threats every day from the MAGAts.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

I mean, I obviously get the impulse not to want to give Israel money but here on planet earth it's going to happen.

I'm also wondering how that's helping anyone. making Ukraine aid contingent on Israel aid is just going to help Putin directly in Ukraine while not really changing the situation in Israel immediately, which is also something Putin likes to see.

Delmarva Peninsula's avatar

I know this is epically naive, but I keep hoping—dreaming?—that the few not-completely-insane* Republicans in the House would band together and shut this lunatic caucus crap down. I just don't get what's in it for them to keep this clown show going.

*LOL

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Reelection, and keeping the maga-hordes from sending them death-threats.

Tza's avatar

And to make things EVEN MORE FUN this Friday is the LAST DAY THE HOUSE WORKS UNTIL MARCH 5TH.

WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!

TheGreatAndPowerfulMormos!'s avatar

Remember: Johnson is a seven mountains dominionist associated with the alliance defending freedom who wants to CAUSE the apocalypse. He is actively TRYING to destroy the world because he thinks it will bring jebus back. The FACT that he is a lunatic death cultist cannot be understated.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Yes, I've been explaining that to my politcally apathetic relatives for a while.

suziq's avatar

Well then he is doing a very good job! (for the others who agree with that brand of crazy)