Porn Performers: Chase Bank Does Not Want Your Jizzed-On Money, Nosiree

You will probably not be surprised to learn that here at yr Wonkette we think that porn is a totally respectable way to earn a living, presuming, of course, that consent and equal power and equity and yadda yadda exist. Point is, we don't discriminate about how you pay the bills. Chase Bank, on the other hand, is pretty certain they don't want your filthy money if you ever made it doing sexytime, as Chase has sent letters to hundreds of porn performers telling them that they'll close their bank account in May.

This is not Chase's first time getting all moralistic about how people earn their daily bread.

Last year, for instance, Chase refused to process payments for Lovability, a company that sells condoms and promotes female sexual empowerment, because condoms are "adult-oriented material" and thus a "reputational risk." After Lovability CEO Tiffany Gaines engaged in a high-profile protest against the company, the bank agreed to process Lovability's payments — but, notably, not to remove condoms from the "prohibited adult" category.

We always sort of assumed that the people who find storing their money next to condom-created money already had banks of their own run by Opus Dei or the Duggars or whatever where that they could put their precious only-touched-by-Jesus cash, and will probably not flee Chase in droves simply because the Condom Lady puts her money there also too.

Chase is also pretty scared of your garden variety softcore hotel Skinemax type porn money getting pre-cum all over the other money in the bank.

The founder of soft porn studio MRG Entertainment, Marc Greenberg, filed a lawsuit against J.P. Morgan after they refused to let him refinance a loan because of his job.

We're not really sure how attenuated Chase is going to get about this. Will they not take Comcast's money, because Comcast blasts a fuckton of porn into our house? How about Google's money? Turning off Google's "safe search" feature and looking for "porn money" -- a thing we did while looking for pix for this piece -- will get you all the free porn images you could possibly desire. Somehow we think Chase would decide that is an acceptable reputational risk.

We'd be remiss if we failed to point out that making porn is actually a legal thing here in the good old USA, thanks to the founding fathers who fought for your freedom and defended your right to spank it while watching other people get freaky. How can Chase take that freedom away from god-fearing people like you and us?? It's positively un-American. Somewhere George Washington isjacking offspinning in his grave.

[ Gaily Grind / Jezebel  The Frisky ]