Post-Election Media Glossary (First in a Series)

What reporters really mean (whether talking to colleagues, boss, or you):

•"The internet propagated bogus information." = "We fucked up."

•"Bloggers let the cat out of the bag." = "We believed those polls, too."

•"Oh, that room service bill includes laundry." = "I emptied the mini-bar."

•"That was quite a night, huh?" = "What's your name again?"

•"Truly, this is a divided America." = "I am planning on resorting to tired red/blue stereotypes for another four years."

•"President Bush has a mandate." = "We didn't believe that 380 ton thing either."

•"We're all just glad it's over." = "Mr. McClellan, you look tense, can I rub your shoulders?"

•"This is a vindication for Karl Rove's strategy" = "We won't tell criminal prosecutor about your Plame leak."

•"Will Bush govern from the middle?" = "Will I have have to talk to Christians?"

•"President Bush is joined by his family." = "I can seeJenna'sBarbara's nipples."