'Post' Wants You to Throw Lamest Party Ever This Weekend

ThePosthas detailed plans for three wacky parties . you could throw this weekend. Let's take a look at them, shall we?

"SPLASH PARTY"

Refreshment ideas: Ice pops, watermelons, etc.

SODA POP PARTY

Refreshment ideas: Root beer floats, popcorn.

"ICE IS NICE PARTY"

Refreshment ideas: For kids, snow cones, white grape juice, "snowball" cupcakes, assorted white snacks. Oh, and for adults, something called "Icicle cocktails." Ingredients of which include:

* 1 cup white creme de menthe

* 1/4 cup peppermint schnapps

* 3/4 cup vanilla-flavored vodka

* Sparkling sugar or granulated sugar, for dusting the rims of the glasses

* 1 cup chilled low-fat milk

* 8 cups ice cubes

* 8 marshmallows, for garnish (optional)

This the the gayest drink we've ever seen, and we've dined with Log Cabin Republicans. And that's the only booze suggestion in the whole piece. It sounds like thePostweekend section thinks you have a problem.

 Weekend Summer Parties [WP]