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Martini Glambassador's avatar

Evan: “Did I use this one yet?”

Me, an ancient knight Templar: “You have chosen… wisely.”

Your hed gif source info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/uni-unites-with-a-box

And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/1b0f5b27-f652-41a8-b487-0cf55d8ed70b?utm_source=share

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eddi-SABH's avatar

The next to last pose is perfect Cheshire Cat grin.

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Lana Hibiscus's avatar

I knew it was Uni! Unmistakable, adorable face

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Major Kong's avatar

After seeing my cat settle into a box, I asked Alexa why cats did that. The reply was that boxes made them feel snug and secure. Alexa then added, "But who knows why cats do what they do."

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Babe Paley's avatar

I would totally pick up that cat loaf and carry it around and once she started complaining I'd tell her she did it to herself.

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el duderino's avatar

Uni! :3

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Pere Ubu's avatar

Cat fits, so cat sits!

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Antifa Commander's avatar

“Let’s go with either ‘no’ or ‘yes’!“

What is this, some kind of unsolvable cat/box paradox? Inconceivable!

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Sojourner Truth's avatar

Seal the box with tape and ship another kitty.

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Miss Grundy's avatar

Uni's a cutie!

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weejee's avatar

Happy Boxing Day Martini

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Zap's avatar

The day after Xmas when the ruling class gave the help a whole day of their own to unwrap Xmas boxes.

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Babe Paley's avatar

Kitten fittin’; sittin’.

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Menotsure's avatar

Given this particularly shitty timeline, if I had a big enough box, I would probably seek refuge there, too.

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Valechec's avatar

That is one content kitty. And well they should be, as they fits.

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Mr Beeep's avatar

I fitz!!

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tehbaddr's avatar

And there was this cat, and it sat in the box, I don't think anybody has ever seen that before, never in history has there been anything like this, like for the first time ever! Many people are saying!

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Martini Glambassador's avatar

I mostly cribbed it for the cute smile at the end. But sometimes you have to go with a classic theme.

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Shocktreatment's avatar

Look at Uni! I think I read his book 𝘈 𝘎𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘗𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, oh wait, that's Leo Babauta's work. Well, he 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 have written it...

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simpledinosaur's avatar

Nothing janky about that-there (alleged) conversation or that-there (alleged) drawing. Nosiree Bob. The more I reflect on it, yes, JD's backers could see the so-called "Epstein Hoax" as the perfect way to give Donald the heave-ho. And wouldn't that be just the ironic thing? Teflon coating doesn't last forever, I guess. This guy has survived scandals just short of kidnaping the Lindbergh baby, and this old, very ugly-sounding story could be the one that finally ruins him.

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Kirsty Gnome-Poledance Himmler's avatar

I'd like to see Rupert counter-sue for 20 B's.

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Marycat2021's avatar

Wait, you're seriously telling me that these dipshits in Trump's inside orbit have ignored his creeping dementia for 10 years, but the minute his ankles swell, he's possibly dying? GTFOH.

The bruises are more serious than his damn ankles. Ankle swelling that starts suddenly and doesn't go away is a sign of heart failure, but with medication the old fart will probably toddle along for another 5 or 10 years. Bruises on his hands mean something more serious is happening.

My mother's dementia was caused by her heart failing to pump sufficient blood to her brain. So it could be in Trump's case. He's 79 and dementia runs in his family, so I've always been surprised that his doctor hasn't put this scenario together, or else he has, and Trump ahs been in denial.

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Tessie's avatar

"he suddenly has extremely prominent and unhealthy-looking cankles"

`

Have we ruled out the possibility -- nay, the likelihood -- that those are just trapped farts?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I can't believe how badly Coca-Cola handled the whole sugar cane thing. I'd like to help them out, because they are an American institution.

For Immediate Release

Coca-Cola is thrilled at the President's input into our formulation process.

We have several exciting and delicious changes to the Coke products you've come to know and love, and we'll be rolling those out in two weeks.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

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beb's avatar

Cats and their boxes! Even when the box is basically too small for a cat, they want to sit in it.

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

Well according to Stuckey caring about gay people or family pets being euthanized is “toxic empathy” and should be shrugged off for Jesus.

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Hippo Heaven's avatar

I just read an article about the QAnon believers and why the Epstein files are so critical to their beliefs. Trump's backing away from the release of the Epstein documents is tantamount to a betrayal.

And I must say, I truly do not understand.

Can someone give me a simple, easy to understand explanation of why MAGA is so intense about this?

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simpledinosaur's avatar

They actually believed all that crap about how Donald would tear down the elites and expose the truth. Now, even those blockheads and dolts can see that they've been had by a major con artist. Trump IS the elite, or at least a wannabe elite. He's obviously protecting either himself or other powerful people, or both. For the rank and file, MAGA is, I think, ultimately a fantasy about purification, about something apocalyptic happening that will make it all better. Remember when Robert DeNiro's character Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver says, "Someday a real rain'll come and wash all the scum off the streets"? I think MAGA's crazy fantasy is sort of like that. They even had a meme for a while about "the storm," or something along those lines.

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Littorally Speaking's avatar

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘯𝘰, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 “𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵,” 𝘣𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘦 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 “𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵” 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘋𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘕𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴.

Not “loser”; COLLABORATOR.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

Why does Trump have that hooded klaven or klaxon or klusterfukk or whatever it is you call a group of KKK assholes at the bottom of his skyline doodles? Was he hosting a kkkonflagration of assholes and wanted to provide them with sketches to take home afterwards?

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Ron Spangler's avatar

The problem is, that really doesn't seem like a card that Trump would have written, and does he even draw? I mean, we have an ocean of Trump's fetid scrawlings to refer to. Have you ever seen one that looks or sounds remotely like this supposed birthday card?

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Dr. Rrrrrobotnik's avatar

"Are they starting to lay the groundwork for Trump to be able to quit the presidency “for health reasons”? That is Charlotte’s conspiracy theory, and we’re not sure she’s wrong."

Anyone who believes this, including the alleged conspirators, does not know Trump's character at all. He would literally die rather than show weakness.

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

And I'm fine with that.

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AJ Milne's avatar

(... blinks...)

... godspeed fuckface.

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easelox is on timeout's avatar

he is showing weakness already

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Dr. Rrrrrobotnik's avatar

To us, sure. But to a huge swath of his rubes, it only becomes true when he admits it. And a man as vain and terrified of being laughed at as Trump is will never, ever do that.

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easelox is on timeout's avatar

worst tabs ever

(due to the world outside, not any writers here)

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R. Riddle's avatar

My theory is that this is all part of God's plan to install Mike Johnson as President, as JD Vance steps aside to spend more time with Rooms-to-Go.

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simpledinosaur's avatar

Well, praise Gawd for that vision! There really are no good options here, are there? If Donald gets the heave-ho, we get "JD Mandel." If not him, then, as you say, comes our God-botherer of a House Speaker. No doubt Speaker Johnson will establish a second Rule of the Saints to put Oliver Cromwell's godly men to shame. Though Cromwell did say one thing to Parliament that I think was rather cool: "Come, gentlemen, I will put an end to your prating!"

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Les Bontemps's avatar

𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝑭𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒔, 𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒅 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒑 𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆, 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒅 𝑻𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒑’𝒔 𝑬𝒑𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒖𝒑

When you've lost Nick Fuentes ... well, what have you really lost?

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42tontom's avatar

You’re actually way, way better off!

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AJ Milne's avatar

Depends a little I guess.

(... like what if I was using his body for a flotation device?)

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