President Obama Humors Bill O'Reilly For Ten-Minute Interview, Gives Him A Cookie For Being Bestest Journalist Ever

Let's say you're Bill O'Reilly. First, you have our sympathies. Second, how is it you ever rose to a position where you're interviewing anyone more important than the Great Neck sanitation commissioner? Do you have pictures of Roger Ailes fucking barnyard geese or playing in a drum circle in Hyde Park in 1968 with Bill Ayers and Abbie Hoffman?

In case you missed it yesterday, here is Bill interviewing our Glorious Leader and Most Exalted Comrade Barack Obama (peace be upon him) before the Future Dementia Cases championship game. It's a remarkable interview and all copies should be gathered up, placed on a rocket and fired into the sun before it can pollute the minds of any aspiring broadcast journalists or people who aren't already jabbering imbeciles.

Bill was at least a little more polite than the last time he interviewed the president on Super Sunday, only interrupting or attempting to interrupt him 34 times by our count. Old Bill must be getting soft in his dotage, or maybe he was distracted puzzling out how da moon got dere. But he still found time to ask the president the hard-hitting questions about issues that people care about:

• "October 1, it (Obamacare) rolls out. Immediately there are problems with the computers. When did you know there were going to be problems with those computers?"

• "Why didn't you fire Kathleen Sebelius?"

• "You're not gonna answer that?"

• "Did (Secretary Panetta) tell you it (Benghazi) was a terrorist attack?"

• "He didn't use the word terror?"

• "I just want to get this on record. Did he tell you it was a terrorist attack?"

• "Why was (IRS head) Douglas Shulman cleared into the White House 157 times?"

Because Bill is a generous guy, he let his audience in on the fun by asking a question he had solicited from one of the weeping bed sores that watch his show: "Mr. President, why do you feel it's necessary to fundamentally transform the nation that has offered you so much opportunity and success?" Good gotcha, weeping bed sore! Watch carefully and you can see Obama start to scream out "LET THE RULING CLASSES TREMBLE AT A COMMUNIST REVOLUTION! THE PROLETARIANS HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT THEIR CHAINS! WORKINGMEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE!"

Then he catches himself and gives a fairly anodyne answer about good jobs, good wages, good public schools, and other revolutionary crap like that. But you guys almost had him! Better luck next Super Bowl.