504 Comments
User's avatar
SethTriggs's avatar

War may be hell, but living in Maladministration 2.0 is going to get us to hell for sure.

Michael's avatar

As to those seditious knitting ladies, we had a group of them knitting away in front of the ICE building in Portland this last autumn.. they were regulars.

Who knows what plots they were hatching!

Pliny the Younger's avatar

Interesting fact: there are 20 times more undocumented immigrants in Florida than in Minnesota. Minnesota isn't even in the top ten for numbers of undocumented immigrants. So ICE's violent antics aren't about immigration. It's about "sticking it to a blue state", and (I'm gonna say it) ethnic cleansing.

Erisian's avatar

"“In MN, the insurrectionists are confronting our officers on the street. They’re being arrested. This is a natl [sic] security priority. Arrests of insurrectionists are made every day,"

* To the current regime, a failure to bow low enough to the Fulvous Fuckwad, or question him or any of his sycophants, minions, apologists, turd polishers, and cultists, those believing that the Constitution is sacrosanct = insurrectionists.

* The peaceful protesters in the streets of Minneapolis and other cities deserve nothing less than to be hit repeatedly by pepper balls, tear gas, and incarceration for disturbing the peace.

* The arrests are to be expected when the people don't kowtow to the ICEholes and turn over their brown skinned neighbors... who just have to be illegal aliens.

* Why the fuck is every action taken by the fascists a "matter of national security?"

* Stephen Miller is a self-hating asshat who should be among the first up against the wall.

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"Unfortunately, we think the group may have reconstituted as a Discord chat"

Even if the mothers did, their chats would still be more confidential than Kegbreath hosting a meeting to discuss classified plans on Signal.

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"Either way, we recommend ICE field agents go on super-high alert for attacks involving grandmothers armed with soft Merino."

To gentle a weapon. What the grandmothers need to arm themselves with are explosive submarine sandwiches that can be felt through ballistic body armor, and causes the agents to reek of mustard and onions so others will be forewarned by the approaching stench.

fnord

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Partial description of the J6Traitor protest today in Minneapolis (from WAPO). The phrase "dozen or so supporters" was mentioned more than once. And I thought to myself, how difficult would it have been to count to 12? If indeed there were even 12? Twelve. Breathtaking show of support. Twelve.

"Lang and his dozen or so supporters were outnumbered by a crowd of several hundred counterprotesters, some of whom yelled at them to leave the city.

The demonstrations, which took place on a bitterly cold day in Minneapolis, lasted only about two hours, before Lang tried to leave. Most people appeared to be letting him exit the area, but a scuffle broke out. Lang appeared to take some punches and was later seen bleeding from the back of his head. Police ordered the remaining crowd to disperse."

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

They can only count to ten for obvious reasons, uncle jeb can only count to 6 since the power saw accident

Jamoche's avatar

My go-to manual for what to do when your country is occupied was written in 1944 by the OSS, and I believe can still be found on the CIA website. Nobody tell them.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Any AI talent out there able to take the 'Fargo' scenes depicting the capture of Jerry Lundegaard at the Hitching Post Motel and make it look like it's Trump? Please? Pretty please??

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

Does AI charge by the pound?

Hank Napkin's avatar

Yes… but so worth it!

John Strycharz's avatar

A RethuglKlan, a Dummycrat and Mahatma Gandhi walk into a Washington bar.

The Dummycrat floats a proposal to require ICE agents to wear body cameras, take de-escalation training and stop wearing masks, in exchange for fully funding DHS.

The RethugliKlan says “I feel cautiously optimistic" that such outrageous restrictions on ICE will be unnecessary.

Ghandi says: Such a problem! You know, In 1938, after Kristallnacht, I advised Jews to resist Nazi persecution through Satyagraha (non-violent resistance) rather than fighting back. Clearly, the people of Minnesota should offer themselves voluntarily to be killed by their enemies. That alone will "bring them an inner strength and joy."

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/democrats-ice-dhs-funding-bill_n_6967f245e4b0b0607cf1c39f?origin=home-latest-news-unit

Daniel's avatar

I would have preferred this without the shit nicknames. That whole "I call him Donald Drumf!" thing is incredibly shit.

Teen Laqueefa's avatar

I told you days ago the Ghandi fable is fabricated BS.

tek's avatar

"there's another bit of code that we still haven't managed to crack. A lot of people are talking about 'going to the lake' ... which is insane because it is extremly cold out there. We supect 'the 'lake' is a secret meeting place, but the only places our intelligence has been able to track it to is an actual frozen lakes which, again, is insane"

Rags's avatar

Top secret ice fishing shack with ample schnapps

Neural Foundry's avatar

The "niddy noddy" cryptology bit is perfect satire. The escalation from infiltrating hockey moms to decoding knitting patterns captures how absurd domestic intelligence overreach can get when everyones treated as a potential threat. I've seen similar dynamics where routine community organizing gets framed in counterterrorism language just to justify budgets. The whistles-as-sirens psychological warfare angle is chef's kiss too, mocking how agencies manufacture rationales for agent misconduct.

"M"'s avatar

So as usual - a Black man and a man with ties to the Native American community (props to Mark Ruffalo) are the first to speak up

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/v0no-i3Z2b0

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

Greenland Defense Front - speaking of Native Americans....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hS0wFiWpU4U

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Dang it. Walz called out the guard.

Source: MN DPS.

This also means they cannot be nationalized since they are on mission... I think.

John Strycharz's avatar

How long until Dummycrats start denouncing victims who backtalk about being brutalized, for "provoking" the fascists? Tomorrow? Monday?

https://www.mprnews.org/story/2026/01/16/ice-tactics-in-twin-cities-turn-toward-intimidation

"M"'s avatar

It's already happened

That was Kristi Gnome calling Renee Good a liar and a terrorist

It happens every time a White student bullies and attacks a Black student with racist names and the school system suspends the Black student and lets the White student go back to class

It happened when GoFundMe paid for Darren Wilson's retirement after he murdered Mike Brown and rewarded that Shiloh woman with three quarters of a million dollars when she called a Black child a racist name

It happens practically every day in this America -- including the immigrants that flood the country showing up here as a result of what the United States has done to destabilize conditions in their home countries (including Venezuela, for anybody who only has half a clue) -- because the original Confederates were never punished and there aren't enough (White) people willing to hold THIS set of Confederates to account but who are content to stand idly and passively by and assume this will never touch them even though a White woman was just shot three times in the face and DHS is already preparing "internment camps" that separate U.S. citizens from others

The denial is strong, and the Putin-trained Confederate Republicans are weaponizing the denial and ignorance against the rest of the population

Because the professional propagandists know White Americans better than most White Americans know themselves

Militant Agnostic's avatar

Your comments sound like you are an agent provocateur.

gallbladder's avatar

I wonder just how many of the troops that fuckface plans on sending to Greenland have ever experienced sustained temperatures below 50°F?

Meccalopolis's avatar

We already have troops there. This is so stupid.

Raccoon of Vengeance's avatar

Oh this might be another reason Walz activated the guard.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Oh, that was good fun, Gary. Thanks!

Joe Schmoe, Troublemaker's avatar

Lord Gary of Legum, your first person fiction pieces are the greatest gift you can offer Wonkette!🙇‍♂️

Vive le resistance! Vive le resistance! Vive le resistance! Vive le resistance! Vive le resistance!🤩