Pretend Congresswoman Gets Gold Star For Attendance

Shelley "Dracula Cunt" Sekula Gibbs may have lost the previously safe Republican seat in Tom DeLay's Texas congressional district, but that doesn't mean she wasn't a fabulous pretend congresswoman for thoselast few days of the 109th before the actual elected congressman took over this month.

How do we know? Because the loon sent out a press release proudly noting her "perfect attendance record." Oh, and she took part in 25 roll-call votes. We look forward to the 2012 opening of the Dracula Cunt House Offices Building.

Read the whole bizarre document, after the jump.

Shelley Sekula Gibbs Had Perfect Attendance in Her Congressional Service

Dear Fellow Republican,

Houston Republican Shelley Sekula Gibbs, elected to serve the final weeks of Tom DeLay's term, had a perfect attendance record according to Congressional Quarterly. Also earning a perfect attendance record was Texas Senator John Cornyn. Congresswoman Sekula Gibbs cast her vote in all 25 of the roll call votes that occurred during her tenure. Some of those votes included:

* Blocking a 5% cut in Medicare funding that would have hurt senior's health care.

* Opening up 8 million acres for oil and gas exploration in the Gulf of Mexico with most of the new royalties going to Texas and Louisiana for coastal preservation.

* Extending Texans' sales tax deduction and tax credits for research and development .

* Fighting unsuccessfully to limit late term abortions by requiring doctors who perform such abortions to offer women the option of fetal anesthesia to reduce the pain of the procedure.

* Funding the National Institute of Health, through which most of Americas' medical research is conducted.

* Allocating $300M for adult respite care to help seniors find more family-centered alternatives to living in nursing homes.

* Passing autism research and treatment legislation.

With the close of the Congressional session, Congresswoman Sekula Gibbs met with top law enforcement officials in Laredo, TX to talk about border security. National, state and local officials along the U.S./Mexico border have their hands full dealing with numerous challenges such as the crackdown on illegal immigration, the constant flow of illegal drugs brought in from Mexico, and an exploding crime problem caused by turf battles between rival drug organizations.

Congresswoman Sekula Gibbs pledged her support to the law enforcement efforts and vowed to return regularly to monitor progress being made and future needs that call for Congressional support. "The people of Congressional District 22 are very concerned about border security, the rising crime rate in our community and the constant flow of illegal aliens into our country. They fear that among these illegal aliens are terrorists and members of organized crime who have easy access to our country. We must concentrate on both how to prevent the illegal aliens from crossing over in the first place and how to handle those who are already making our country their home."

 SHELLEY WANTS YOU TO KNOW SHE HAD PERFECT ATTENDANCE! [Isiah Carey's Insite]