Proving He's a True Republican, Mitt Expresses Love of 'Tube Steaks'

What makes a perfect Endless Cummer afternoon? Tube Steak, of course! And flip-flopping Scientologist Parisian Mitt Romney wants you to know he's as GOP as it gets when it comes to a man's love of Tube Steak. Mmmm, nothing like a hot wiener sliding into your mouth on a hot day!

The tragic part about this is that Mitt Romney is the only Republican front-runner with anything resembling the "family values" so beloved by the religious wingnuts who show up for the straw polls and primaries and such -- the sordid semen-stained infidelities of John "I Married (Again) For Money" McCain, Rudy "Drag Queen" Giuliani and Hollywood "Fred" Thompson would even make Larry Craig blush. But because Mitt is a space alien who learned English from 1950s sitcoms such as "Leave It To Beaver" and "Father Knows Best" while his beehive starship zoomed across the heavens, he's completely unaware that nobody has innocently referred to a frankfurter as a "tube steak" since Eisenhower was president.

Also, space aliens such as Mitt-Mitt have no problem torturing dogs, because the extraterrestrials have been at war with the cruel and powerful Sirius dog-monsters since the Twelfth Parsec.

 Mitt Romney Loves Tube Steak [YouTube]