Putin Hates Tucker

Amazing amazing amazing, this is what Tucker deserves in life.

Here’s a delicious turn of events: Vladimir Putin, by all appearances, hates Tucker Carlson. He did not enjoy his interview with the American suitor with his Aryan head perpetually cocked to the side like he just got smacked with a cymbal, and we doubt he’d do it again.

Max Seddon, the Moscow bureau chief for FT, tweeted this video last night of a Russian journalist interviewing Putin, who commented on the overtly thirsty white boy from America to whom he recently gave an audience:

Obviously it is in Russian, but here is Seddon’s summary:

Putin says he didn't like the Tucker Carlson interview because it was too soft. "I honestly thought he would be aggressive and ask tough questions. I wanted that, because I would have given tough answers back [...] to be frank, I didn't get much pleasure from this interview."

Frankly, Vladimir did not like! Vladimir could not believe prostrate American poodle with lipstick out just let Vladimir babble and babble about time magic horse impregnate Yaroslav the Wise and out of that first glorious Russian pregnancy sprout great city of Moscow.

It was like, eh, how you say, getting handjob from dead Russian flounder.

We could have predicted this, considering how A) we’re talking about Tucker Carlson, one of the single most unlikable people on Planet Earth, and B) Putin made fun of him to his face during the interview.

Like in this clip, when Putin mocked Tucker for failing to get into the CIA when he was a little fresh-faced white supremacist:

Putin referred to the CIA as “the organization you wanted to join back in the day, as I understand. We should thank God they didn’t let you in. Although it is a serious organization, I understand.” Ha ha!

So that was a devastating way to remind Tucker in front of all his friends who’s the handler and who’s the mark.

And there was this one, where, after Putin had yapped on and on about time in 1278 AD when Olga the sensual Russian she-bear of the north made duel with Nadiya, official bear slut of Kyiv, he made fun of Tucker for probably not being able to handle his “long speeches” because after all, Tucker is just an entertainer, right?

“I understand that my long speeches probably fall outside the genre of the interview. That is why I asked you at the beginning, are we going to have a serious talk or a show?” At which point he launched into the next chapter of his drunk history lesson of the history of Russia and Ukraine.

In response, Tucker broke out into the high-pitched, try-hard giggle we imagine he’s been leaning on during moments such as these for many, many years. It lasted 10 uncomfortable seconds.

So all of that is devastating and pathetic and right in line with the humiliation God has progressively been doling out to Tucker ever since that day last year when he lost the only platform he ever had that mattered, at Fox News.

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Even more devastating is that ever since Tucker left his hero’s oxygen space, he’s been trying to recreate the moment by releasing needy tourism videos about how beautiful Moscow is, like he’s auditioning to be its car show spokesmodel. In fact he dropped one right after Putin’s interview calling him a boring basic Becky came out. It was about how beautiful the Moscow subways are. (Usually Ukrainian children responsible for rolling train from station to station show up for work these days! Unless they want to go back to Siberia, of course! Haha, Wonkette make imaginary Putin joke.)

Aaron Blake from the Washington Post with the side-by-side:

That was after Tucker went to Dubai and drooled everywhere about how Moscow is so much “nicer” and “prettier” than cities in America.

He said:

“And now it is so much cleaner and safer and prettier, aesthetically, its architecture, its food, its service, than any city in the United States that you have to — and this is not ideological — how did that happen? How did that happen?”

You betcha, Tucker, it’s the “architecture” you’re noticing.

Maybe he just meant most of the people he saw were white.

Ehhhhh, is probably that.

In Tucker’s latest missive, he says Russian grocery store has “radicalized” him against “our leaders.” That’s right, Russian grocery store. We guess they have those snack cakes he likes, which Joe Biden personally discontinued from the store close to his house.

All of this is so sad for Tucker, and so deserved. May the humiliations continue.

RELATED: In the same Russian interview, Putin said he preferred Biden be re-elected rather than dealing with Trump again. Said he’s more “experienced” and “predictable.” Also he said Biden isn’t too old or feeble to do the job:

"Even then [three years ago] people were saying that he was incompetent, but I did not see anything of this sort," he said.

"Yes, he kept looking at his papers, but to be honest I kept doing the same. So there was nothing peculiar."

Vladimir kept doing same with papers!

Putin’s quotes about Biden weren’t all blowjobs and candy canes, obviously, and we should note the trolling. (MAGA incels and cucks will now start protesting that Putin endorsed Biden.)

But the insult toward Trump was pointed.

Tucker’s not the only Kremlin useful idiot who got flung under a Russian bus last night, we are saying.

[BBC / Videos via Max Seddon, Ron Filipkowski]

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Evan Hurst on Twitter right here. 

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