Ralph Nader Can Eat America's Entire Ass
Who among us wasn't waiting for this guy to weigh in?
In one of those moments that was greeted by a resounding chorus of “Oh go fuck yourself back to whatever rock under which you were currently decomposing,” Ralph Nader decided to weigh in on this week’s Supreme Court decision giving Donald Trump license to grab Fifth Avenue by the pussy and shoot it, as long as Trump says it’s an Official Act.
Nader tweeted:
“A dictatorial, unelected majority in the Supreme Court has just rendered America a dictatorial president above the law. Thank you Hillary Clinton, whose blundering campaign let the dictatorial Trump become president and led to a rightwing dictatorial majority on the Supreme Court. -R”
Glad he signed that drivel with the “R” at the end. Wouldn’t want to think it was some snot-nosed intern whose balls haven’t dropped, who wasn’t personally alive to witness their boss’s role in destroying America.
“Thank you Hillary Clinton,” said one of the least necessary white men ever to be expelled out of God’s loins and delivered unto Connecticut, “whose blundering campaign let the dictatorial Trump become president and led to a rightwing dictatorial majority on the Supreme Court.”
Let’s try to unpack this bullshit backward, in hopes that we may stuff it back up inside whence it came:
Like so many of his persuasion, Ralph Nader refuses to admit that there was a world-historical confluence of weirdness that caused Hillary Clinton — the popular vote winner by millions — to lose in 2016. Unprecedented interference by a hostile foreign power (Russia), unprecedented interference by a hostile domestic power (Rudy Giuliani’s buddies in the FBI), voter suppression for miles, and oh yes, she admits she made some mistakes too. Wrote a whole book about it in fact.
Of course, it must be noted that in the Rust Belt — the blue wall states of Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin that Hillary Clinton lost by an eensy, thereby giving Trump the presidency — if people who voted for the Green Party nominee Jill Stein had instead grown the fuck up and voted for Clinton, none of this would have happened. (Also some who just stayed home, if they had instead left the house that day and perhaps stopped by their polling place.)
Which brings us to another spoiler from long ago, what’s his name?
Fuck it, Elie Mystal already screamed it in all caps, no need for us to try to reinvent that wheel.
“MAYBE CHIEF JUSTICE JOHN ROBERTS ISN'T THERE TO WRITE THIS OPINION TODAY IF YOU DON' T RUN FOR PRESIDENT OR DID YOU THINK PEOPLE WOULD FORGET THAT ON TODAY OF ALL MOTHERFUCKING DAYS???”
Oh yeah that.
The 537 votes in Florida that changed the world, literally.
Of course, if just a tiny fraction of the 97,488 people who voted for Ralph Nader in Florida in 2000 had voted differently that year, none of this would have happened. Samuel Alito wouldn’t have happened either, during the second term George W. Bush won, which was directly related to his winning a first term.
Other people replied to Nader, saying things like “Fuck you” and “Ralph, kindly excuse yourself from this discussion. You and your ilk are forever the election spoilers who helped make this possible” and “Mr. Nader, you really just need to sit this one out and let the adults work. Thanks.”
And look, in 2000, lots of people were young, they were wide-eyed, they didn’t feel like either candidate represented them, they didn’t understand yet that “lesser of two evils” is in fact an adult decision that adults make all day long, a serious decision, that perfect should never be the enemy of the good, and that informed voting really isn’t about our feelings. (The Wonkette editrix even did it. On the other hand, she felt bad afterward and didn’t blame every single person in the world who wasn’t the Wonkette editrix.) Kind of like 2016!
But the thing about bad decisions is that we hopefully learn from them. When something calamitous happens, like George W. Bush or Donald Trump assuming the presidency despite being unfit for the job and despite receiving fewer votes than their opponent, we say, “Oh boy, that sure isn’t going to happen again if I have anything to say about it!”
Or if you’re Ralph Nader you run again in 2004.
Mystal followed up with an important thread that captures an important and enduring truth about recent American politics, one that some people are poised to ignore yet again in November because waaaaaah reasons.
“If you're 42 years old or older, the most important election of your lifetime was 2000. If you're 26-42, the most important election of your lifetime was 2016. If you're under 26, but old enough to vote, you haven't fucked up yet, but are about to.”
But you are about to.
Or, you know, they could decide to learn from extremely recent history.
“But at every point, including now, ‘Black people tried to tell you.’ There has never been a presidential election in American history where the majority of Black folks [voted] for the ‘worse’ candidate. Maybe one day, y'all will just listen to us. :)”
Maybe.
Believe it when we see it!
Evan has a new side project called The Moral High Ground, you should check it out and subscribe there too!
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
If you're shopping on Amazon anyway, this portal gives us a small commission.
Some people claim that there's a woman to blame
But I know, those people are assholes
That's the thing with the unchecked misogyny that permeates everything in this country. There's always a woman to blame. Always. And Hillary Clinton has taken far, far more blame for shit that the men responsible for untold shit should have. I hope after she's gone that history will judge her more fairly. Over thirty years of Fox News propaganda has robbed this country of her presidency and Ralph Nader can go fuck himself for blaming her for something he holds far more responsibility on..