Discover more from Wonkette
Record Profits & Record Abortions!
Markets surged in afternoon trading Friday as investors enthusiastically responded to earnings reports from Planned Parenthood (ABRT), which posted record profits on record numbers of American abortions.
Mangled dead fetus output soared to 264,943 in fiscal year 2005-06, leading to profits of $55.8 million. The company also surged on lucrative government contracts of $305.3 million to terminate American pregnancies. Executives credited the earnings to increased efficiency and targeted marketing to poor black and white women who produce offspring that won't work as agricultural or low-end service sector labor.