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Religious Fanatic Plans Terrorist Attack at Falwell's Funeral

A 19-year-old student at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, apparently in cahoots with a soldier from Fort Benning and a high school student, was caught by authorities in Virginia with "several gasoline-based bombs in his car."
The student, 19-year-old Mark Ewell of Amissville, Va., reportedly told authorities that he was making the bombs to stop protesters from disrupting the funeral service.
In light of this, concerned citizens across the nation have urged the government to start rounding up Christians and imprisoning them without charges in secret CIA prisons. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales is reportedly planning a major bust of extremist Christian sleeper cells across the South.