Remainders: Sweet Summer Sack Sweat

* Jonah Goldberg really wants some holographic technology, 'cause regular internet porn just isn't doing it for him any more. [ The National Review ]

* "Dick Cheney's a barely human, oozing, feces-covered demi-gorgon who rips the heads off ducklings just for sport." That, and uh, Lee Siegel likes licking blogger scrotum. [ Rude Pundit ]

* Dick Cheney will lick John King's blood stain off his boots if he asks him one more question about "that damn gay book Mary wrote." [ The Petrelis Files ]

* The Guardian newspaper: the British curmudgeon's first place for news. [ PSFK ]

* The kind of mad libs the White House press corps plays on those middle-of-the-night flights to Iraq. [ Concurring Opinions ]

* Utah congressional candidate John Jacob knows that he'd be swimming in cash, Scrooge McDuck style, if it wasn't for, uh, Satan. [ Salt Lake City Tribune ]

* Beware the heavenly power of the Blogfather! [ Red State ]