Remainders: The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

* Jon Stewart has no illusions -- if he were any funnier, he'd be dead. [ The Apiary ]

* Anheuser-Busch responds to market forces by getting liquored up. [ Reuters ]

* The Consumer Federation of America declares the real-estate industry a "cockamamie cartel." National Association of Realtors fires back with, "I know you are but what am I?" [ Freakonomics ]

* Their de facto monopoly lost, the New York Times decides falling circulation numbers are the result of a "difficult economic environment." Yeah, that's it. [ Jeff Matthews Is Not Making This Up ]

* Speaking of monopoly, Bush finds reading with a monocle pretty hard, so he gives it up. [ Whiskey Bar ]

* Jerome Armstrong and Markos Moulitsas are the toughest extortionists this side of a MacBook Pro. [ The New Republic ]

* According to Nino Scalia, when you've got a job for life, sixteen years ago seems like yesterday. [ The Agitator ]

* Anderson Cooper interviews Angelina Jolie about "Her Mission & Motherhood," and they still don't beat O'Reilly. We smell Satan. [ TVnewser ]