Remember, Remember The First Perv of Blowvember?

Former South Dakota legislator Ted Klaudt was convicted in Blowvember for sexually abusing his foster daughters while telling them his was examining them for their suitability as egg donors. Ted, by the way, isn't a doctor. He was sentenced yesterday to 44 years in prison and won't be eligible to apply for parole for until 2030. Ted's lawyer had argued for a lesser sentence because a 50 year-old, 600 pound man is likely to die in prison, but, really, that's a fate that Ted could've prevented by NOT RAPING HIS FOSTER DAUGHTERS so the judge and I and probably most of the rest of the world don't really give a shit. Enjoy prison, short eyes. [ Fox News ]