Remember When Crack Was the Crack Cocaine of Cocaine?

Last week's legislation apparently banning online gambling may not be particularly effective when it comes to stopping the $12 billion a year folks plunk down for online wagering, but it settled an issue that had been tearing the nation apart like the old Young Elvis/Fat Elvis stamp vote. It turns out that online gambling is gaming equivalent of crack cocaine (move over, Mah Jong!). Rep. Jim Leach (R-Iowa), among several members of Congress, dubbed online poker little more than taking the pipe .

Now all that's left to figure out is who gets credit for the crack cocaine metaphor: Univ. of Illinois or Harvard? Jim Leach is in the Illini camp while Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.) is pulling for the Crimson . Smart money is on Illinois in this one.

Meanwhile, the head of the U.K.-listed and Costa Rican-based BetonSports , David Carruthers, is cooling his heels in an American jail (odds are 3-5 he ends up at Gitmo).

This just in:  Cheese is the new morphine , which is the old crack, which is worse than heroin. Or gambling.--Nick Gillespie