Remember When Donald Trump Thought Paula Deen Hurling N-Word Around Was No Biggie?

This picture never gets old.

Journey with us into the past, Wonkers, many moons ago, to the ancient historical time of 2012, when Paula Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers got their asses sued for fostering a Not Racially Transcendent environment in their restaurant, Uncle Bubba's Oyster House. It was a doozy of a lawsuit, and Wonket broke the news of it, MUST CREDIT WONKET ALL THE TIME. According to the suit, Bubba asked a black security guard if he wished he could "rub all the black off" his skin, and Paula Deen talked about how awesome it would be to have a "bunch of little niggers" as servers for Bubba's wedding, all dressed up "like in the Shirley Temple days," adding, "you know, they used to tap dance around." On top of that, black employees were called "niggers" and "monkeys," and weren't allowed to work front of house or use the front door and bathrooms, which were reserved for white people. We really learned what a nice lady Paula Deen was back in those days!

The Huffington Post has unearthed a clip from the next year, 2013, of Donald Trump going on "Fox & Friends," to talk to the Idiot Couch about how it's just NOT FAIR that Paula Deen got in all this trouble for saying N-words, when Democratic Rep. Charlie Rangel totally said the C-word. NO, SILLY, not "cunt," the other C-word, the one that wounds white people very much and directly reminds us of the centuries of oppression we have experienced. He said "cracker"! Cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker! If you are white, you are crying right now because we just typed that six times in a row.

Let's hand the mic to the orange dumbfuck:

TRUMP: If Charlie or if whoever it was was a Republican and they made that statement, they would be resigning from office right now.

STEVE DOOCY: Yeah, but Donald, you look at the stunning double standard. You know, he is on the left. And then a couple months ago, you have the instance with Paula Deen, where she said one word thirty years ago, and she was crucified, lost her business deals. They took her to task, but Charlie Rangel gets a pass!

TRUMP: Yeah, and nothing will happen to Charlie. I see it all the time. If you're a Republican, you make a statement like that, it's over. I mean, you are finished. If you are a conservative -- and by the way, the further right you are, the worse it gets. It's a very rough double, it's a double standard. It's a very rough double standard. Paula Deen was absolutely crucified, what they did with her ....

Trump and Tucker Carlson went on to bitch and moan about how that damn Obama won't come out and heal the racial wounds of Charlie Rangel referring to racist Tea Partiers as crackers, and lamenting how sad it is that we are all so divided right now, blah blah blah.

So this is weird and completely unexpected! Who'da thunk, right in the middle of Donald Trump's racist birther crusade, he'd go on the television crying his eyes out about how it's NO FAIR Paula Deen got "crucified," just because she said "nigger" (and, again, all the other horrible things in the lawsuit), but nobody was willing to defend white racists from mean Charlie Rangel calling them a buncha goddamn crackers?

CRACKER CRACKER CRACKER CRACKER CRACKER!

Yeah, actually, if you didn't catch our witty sarcasms above, any white person who whines about being called a "cracker" is a piece of shit who needs to STFU. There is literally no word in any language that can be used against a white person that comes anywhere near causing the kind of offense and pain the N-word can inflict. You can put that fact in your cracker-ass pipe and smoke it.

Anyway, how weird it is that Trump has gone on to become the most blindingly racist presidential candidate most of us have seen in our entire lifetimes, even if we are an Old. How strange that he's now courting the most disgusting members of American society, white supremacists and neo-Nazis and "alt-right" jack-offs. How strange that he's shilling for that most pathetic of white grievances, the idea that it's intolerant to call a racist bigot a racist bigot, demanding apologies from Hillary Clinton for correctly calling many of his followers a "basket of deplorables." How strange that racial minorities are literally unsafe at his rallies. How strange that he's, like, openly racist toward black people.

Nobody could have predicted any of this, is what we are saying.

[ Huffington Post ]