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Rep. Jean Schmidt: "Cowards Cut and Eat... A Cake With My Face On It!"
Here at Wonkette, we have a weakness for stupid stories -- and this one is pretty darn stupid. A regular correspondent wrote us:
I'm surprised you didn't mention the hilarious kerfuffle Rep. Jean Schmidt, the Wicked Witch of Ohio, made this weekend over a cake. Some wacky Republican anti-tax group held a party and had a special cake with Schmidt's picture on it... which they hilariously decapitated as the flash bulbs were popping! A good time was had by all.
Interestingly enough, Schmidt's executioner at the pastry guillotine was a fellow Ohio Republican, Rep. Tom Brinkman:
Rep. Schmidt demanded an apology from Rep. Brinkman. Well, Jean, it wasn't that bad; it was just a stupid joke. It wasn't like, say, accusing a decorated war veteran of being a coward or anything...
Our advice to Jean Schmidt: Don't get mad, girl; get even! Throw a party of your own, featuring a cake decorated with an anatomically correct Rep. Brinkman. Then take out that cake knife and pull a Lorena Bobbitt on him!
Who at the party will eat the piece of cake featuring the good member's severed member? Our suggestion: feed it to your office's most junior intern. As Marie Antoinette (or was it Bill Clinton?) famously quipped: "Let them eat cock!"
Schmidt Loses Her Head at Cake Cutting [Cincinnati Enquirer]
Let Them Eat Jean Schmidt [Princess Sparkle Pony]
COAST 2006 Membership Drive [GoCoast.org]