28 Comments
User's avatar
102415's avatar

"Did they remember to tip the pizza delivery man? " For what???!!!!! Every lazy pos looking for a handout!!!!! Get a job.

Expand full comment
102415's avatar

+1

Expand full comment
102415's avatar

Because it won't be as good as pizza in NYC.

Expand full comment
The Quirk's avatar

Hey now, I'd vote for the former CEO of Ben&Jerry's!

Expand full comment
The Quirk's avatar

When it comes to pizza, BUY LOCAL, MOFOS! I've got a guy right off the boat from Sicily in my town, makes a damn good cheesesteak too, and I'm not even in Philly!

Expand full comment
The Quirk's avatar

Putting them in a steel cage is a good start. Just don't put a door on the damn thing or they'll get out.

Expand full comment
The Quirk's avatar

After Schlotsky's (not a pizza place, a sub place w/ GREAT bread) broke my heart by moving away, I stay away from all the chains.

Expand full comment
Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

Lower his eyeball blinking rate to something below 17538BPM. I only watched 3 minutes and the guy was making my eyes water.

Expand full comment
Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

I was thinking Louie Louie.

Expand full comment
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

Or the other incredible automagical harmonization machine, <i>T-Palin</i>

Expand full comment
jqheywood's avatar

Or from Pizza Hut:

Cheeseus Crust...now with Jeebus in the crust!

Expand full comment
Gherkins d'Resistance's avatar

And furthermore, these solutions will be both well-thought-out, and effective!

Expand full comment
PubOption's avatar

Knowing Wonkette's usual vocabulary, I at first misread 'debates' as 'diabetes'.

Expand full comment
JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

Inheritance Tax was a Republican idea! OK, it was under Theodore Roosevelt, so things have changed. They feared an American aristocracy. And they believed -- as a matter of principle -- that everyone* should succeed by dint of their own efforts. HA HA. That's so quaint. ___________________ * white men

Expand full comment
BarackMyWorld's avatar

<i>...his grasp of the issues was a little weak at times...</i>

What are you trying to say, Jack?

Expand full comment
Fartknocker's avatar

Cain scared me. When he was asked about immigration policies, he said that it was a "...states right issue." Really Herm? I guess he missed the 14th Amendment when he was writing his pizza dough recipe.

Expand full comment