148 Comments

Ironically it WASN'T Hitler.

Expand full comment

Turtle Man sharting his shell.

Expand full comment

Probably it involves faith healers, somehow.

Expand full comment

"Six million Jews died in death camps, yet @POTUS continues to deny that World War II was bad for the Jewish people."

--If John Thune and Twitter had existed in 1946

Expand full comment

He doesn't want to say "If you like your plan, you can't keep it" unless forced to. What a dick.

Expand full comment

Congratulations, you're earned 350 bonus points so far this year. 200 more and you'll qualify for 10% off on your next yearly checkup! Thanks for shopping at BiLo.

Expand full comment

How 'bout someone sneak into his office and tape a slip of paper to his back that says, "I'm a football. Kick me in the head".

Expand full comment

Well, such a plan would work only if you could get all the moocher poor to assemble in one place to be nuked.

This plan, ironically, would work with the teatards. Just send them invites to a free Ted Nugent concert and nuke the arena.

Expand full comment

I would wager most of my Trump inheritance on the GOP plan kicking it down the road to 2017 so their 2016 candidates appear not even more dickish. Then they can blame Hillary for lying about keeping your doctor and plans.

Expand full comment

Nothing but junk in the trunk.

Expand full comment

GoFundMes for all the medical conditions.

Expand full comment

He's not bringing his "A game", or even his "B game" to the table. If you slide down 19 more ranks in the alphabet, Mitch would be serving his Tea game.

Expand full comment

I really like Thune's comment. Here, Obama had to get everyone's hopes up, instead of kicking the poors and calling them lazy like he should have done. At least that's how I read it.

Expand full comment

then they succumb to some terminal disease on graduation day.

Expand full comment

Eventually you get a ham

Expand full comment

I heard Chris Christie was circling the wreckage wailing something fierce.

Expand full comment