228 Comments
User's avatar
AIB's avatar

I took wood shop in eighth grade. It didn’t keep me from going to college.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

This is the worst Mad TV reboot yet.

DrBDH's avatar

Any Republican saying “birds of a feather” is the biggest “accusation is a confession” that ever was.

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

Its particularly funny when its a black guy trying to defend the party of White Supremacy.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

The park service concession kiosks on the Mall sell beer. You’re not supposed to stroll around with it but they do, in fact, sell beer.

Aquaman, Real Estate Investor.'s avatar

Additional context because it's not in the post:

Why did Linda get to be CEO of WWE?

Because they had to fire her husband Vince, who had built the company from a regional thing into a multi-billion dollar empire.

Why did they fire him?

Raping female employees.

So yeah, she knows rapists.

satch's avatar

"But the problem with character attacks is that they only work if your candidate is not a pen-stealing serial scumbag like Ken Paxton,...

Repunks:

"He's OUR scumbag!"

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Honestly, the allegations she rattled off sound like republican candidate minimum requirements.

tehbaddr's avatar

I feel much more stupider for reading their talking points.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

OT: "Patrick." "Swindle."

"ICE is a for-profit scheme. “Patrick Swindle, CoreCivic's President and CEO, told investors on an earnings call that that works out to an average rate of $307,000 per bed.”

𝗣𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲 $𝟭.𝟰 𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗺𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗯

https://bsky.app/profile/nancylevinestearns.bsky.social/post/3mttgkawths23

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Yes, that's his actual name. You can't make this stuff up.

"M"'s avatar

I know

That's ... wow

zuludaddy (seamonkey!)'s avatar

send the fucking goon squad to the writer's room pls

paperlesstiger's avatar

OT: Cuckoo ... cuckoo ...

"𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘥𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘩 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘘𝘶𝘦𝘣𝘦𝘤 𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭-𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘊𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘥𝘢'𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺."

https://xcancel.com/donwinslow/status/2091327387581780228

Mr Beeep's avatar

Canada demands Donny Stinkinstein change his underwear.

HE STONK!!!

PrimerGray's avatar

Oh, if only Fukui were here to give his most entertaining take on this race.

swmnguy's avatar
6mEdited

"Bell End," "Wanker," "Useless as a marzipan dildo," I can only imagine the British invective he'd be spraying all over like a busted fire sprinkler.

PrimerGray's avatar

If I could resurrect him but the conditions were that he is only here for one day, this would be what I would want him to non-comment on.

On the other hand, maybe I'd save it for the expiration and/or imprisonment of Assface.

Alpaca22's avatar

'The White House and US federal agencies have released a string of documents this summer – including disputed analyses of alleged voting by noncitzens and historical intelligence memos – stoking expectations that the US president could move to exert greater control over November’s US midterm elections.'

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/23/trump-sowing-election-distrust

"M"'s avatar
4mEdited

LIES

LIES

LIES

and NO PROOF

One more time -- the 1996 Immigration Reform Act MADE NONCITIZEN VOTING A FELONY.

Everyone who was caught voting illegally in 2024 - except one person - was a REPUBLICAN.

There was zero need for any of this, and I'm going to need people to maybe begin repeating these facts as often as Republicans screech about (nonexistent!) voter fraud when they are pushing back against Confederate lies.

Republicans are winning the NARRATIVE war because of Whie Democratic flaccidity for a couple of decades before Hakeem Jeffries ever thought aping that behavior was a good idea.

Democrats have truth and fact on their side, but by and large they are still not using them effectively to rebut Republican slop.

Less than 100 days, folks. Let's go. Come on.

Stulexington's avatar

I like to think it's not a coincidence that it looks like Spider-Man is punching JJJ.

swmnguy's avatar

Thank God Spider-Man was there. If someone irresponsible had shown up, things might have gotten ugly.

Of course, Jake Lang is already out on bail for his antics locally last winter when he barely got out of town unharmed. He just had a court date in July, which he was able to postpone until October. We have good reason to revoke his bail and keep him in jail.

We probably won't; Minneapolis leadership is definitely of the sort that thinks we can placate Nazis and they'll stop bothering us.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

OT: Trump and the Republicans are hard at work destroying the American beef industry and killing as many Americans as possible.

"MYSTERY MEAT: Trump says he struck a deal to flood the U.S. with cheaper foreign beef.

There’s just one problem: He refuses to tell Americans which countries the beef is coming from.

And U.S. ranchers are furious."

https://bsky.app/profile/meidastouch.com/post/3mtmsg3ozr22v

Wokey McWokeface's avatar

I'm what I'm sure is totally unrelated news, they're rounding up wild horses on public land.

freakishlystrong's avatar

And selling them to slaughter.

Being released's avatar

There was a clip yesterday of him yelling at a reporter (female, of course) who asked him what he wanted to say to American farmers who were worried about Trump helping out Argentina.

freakishlystrong's avatar

Those "furious" ranchers all voted for this shit. Too fucking bad.

Lumpy Tapioca's avatar

They chew horses, don't they?

Russell Jones's avatar

Ranchers, part of the "ordinary" rich, should have figured out long ago that TACO & Co. will fuck over everyone, the ordinary rich included, for the uber rich.

swmnguy's avatar

Ranchers, even if rich, do something concrete and tangible.

The people running the Trump Show are finance guys. They buy and sell money and debt in the abstract. Nothing they do is concrete and tangible, and they hate and resent the concrete and tangible. That way lies actual work, which they fear and loathe.

They will absolutely fuck over anyone and everyone who does anything concrete and tangible. Such people are minions at best, subhuman. They think they themselves have transcended lowly homo sapiens and have become some kind of super-species.

They really do think that. They talk about it, and they're not kidding.

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

I heard most of it was going to fast food restaurants rather than supermarkets.

paperlesstiger's avatar

It's another backdoor bailout for Milei.

SkeptiKC's avatar

This is one of those moments wherein I am damned glad that I've been a vegetarian for almost thirty years.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Y'all be very careful what you're buying out there.

swmnguy's avatar

Get yourselves a good pocket-tester cooking thermometer, and cook all meat to Well Done.

EyeQueue's avatar

Linda McMahon is one of the most disgusting human beings on the planet. Miserable fucking creature who doesn't want little children educated.

That contemptible beast needs *redacted* right in her *redacted* face.

eppe's avatar

Have Linda McMahon and Betsy DeVos ever been photographed together? Are they the trial run of the pre-Dolly the sheep cloning experiment?

Pauly2coffees's avatar

She didn’t care about the children whose molestation she abetted, so why would she care about any others?

RandomNameAllocated's avatar

Well of course you want to introduce trade schools into elementary classes - those tiny screws aren't going to tighten themselves and little nimble fingers are perfect! Hell, you don't even need all 10!

Russell Jones's avatar

>>Hell, you don't even need all 10!<<

Gotta teach the little nippers when they're young the joys of working for piecework pay!

eppe's avatar

Are there no poorhouses?

Nope. Not any more.

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

OT - In re: Trump's bunker-envy...

"‘The facility, which was secretly completed during the Obama administration, can house dozens of people for up to multiple weeks. It’s buried more than 60 feet underneath the White House complex and built to withstand a nuclear blast’."

https://bsky.app/profile/philoof.bsky.social/post/3mttjw6r3f22d

HarryButtle, degenerate artist's avatar

Fuck him and his petty bigotry.

wobbly's avatar

He knows it well:

𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗺𝗽 𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗸𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗚𝗲𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝗙𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗱 𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗪𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/31/trump-flees-to-bunker-as-protests-over-george-floyd-rage-outside-white-house

Frank Talk, Action Pundit!'s avatar

Scared lil' bitch, ain't he?

The Blessed Reverend's avatar

so is donald hoping to start a nukular war?

Lumpy Tapioca's avatar

That's been his goal and end game for 10 years.

The man that killed the world, and don't you know it!

Georgiaburning's avatar

That explains a lot