Republicans Prepare To Ratf*ck Biden. Democrats Prepare To Kick Kevin McCarthy In The Nuts.

It's not like Republicans are interested in, like, governing.

With the slimmest of majorities in the House, Republicans are preparing to start doing the important work for the American people.

“Less than 24 hours since clutching the majority, House Republicans are setting up their oversight agenda to the public. First up? Hunter Biden”

— Farnoush Amiri (@Farnoush Amiri) 1668695358 

Hahahaha, we are silly today! Actually the GOP is preparing to investigate the literal dumbest shit on earth. Prepare for thousands of hours of hearings to prove that — BREAKING! — Hunter Biden is an addict and a sleaze, but his dad still loves him anyway. INPEACH!

The New York Times reports that Rep. Marge Greene has extracted a promise from incoming Speaker Kevin McCarthy to "investigate Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the Justice Department for their treatment of defendants jailed in connection with the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol." What does Nancy Pelosi have to do with the treatment of criminal defendants by an entirely separate branch of government? Guess we're about to find out! (Spoiler Alert: It is nothing.) And with Rep. James Comer poised to take over the gavel at the Oversight Committee and spend two years harassing the FBI, that Bill Hader gif is going to get quite a workout.

But, as George W. Bush once said, "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, can't get fooled again." (Yeah, Dubya's still a villain, despite what came after.)

Democrats are not going to be Benghazi-ed a second time, and certainly not by a bunch of weakass losers like Kev and Jim. Politico reports that Democrats are standing up a new project to combat the fountain of bullshit coming out of the Republican House in real time.

The newly relaunched Congressional Integrity Project initiative, details of which were shared first with POLITICO, will include rapid response teams, investigative researchers, pollsters and eventually a paid media campaign to put congressional Republicans “squarely on the defense,” founder Kyle Herrig said in an interview.

It’s designed to serve as the party’s “leading war room” to push back on House Republican investigations, Herrig said in an interview. He added that the project would “investigate the investigators, expose their political motivations and the monied special interests supporting their work, and hold them accountable for ignoring the urgent priorities of all Americans in order to smear Joe Biden and do the political bidding of Trump and MAGA Republicans.”

'Bout damn time, fellas! Your Wonkette is only one mommyblog, and we can't handle this shit on our own. If Republicans are going to try to impeach Joe Biden for using the wrong fork, or more likely for the dastardly crime of having a kid who's a fuck up and not burning him at the stake, then it's essential that we have a dedicated group ready to respond. That goes for his Cabinet secretaries, too, since the GOP is hot to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas for the high crime of not stealing babies at the border and/or shooting immigrants on sight. Bonus: He's not white!

And while we're growing a pair over at Team Blue, might we suggest that taking the Obama route and treating these investigations as a legitimate exercise of congressional oversight is a really dumb idea? Because the time for going high when they go low has long since passed — particularly in light of Republicans' six-year streak of shouting EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE and flatly refusing to cooperate with congressional oversight. These people wipe their asses with congressional subpoenas, and there's no good in treating them like engraved invitations now that the GOP is the one issuing them.

The GOP has made it perfectly clear that it has no intention of trying to govern. And with McCarthy dependent on the crazy wing for his speakership, you know he's going to do fuck all to rein them in. You can pretty much bet that he's about to kick Reps. Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib off their committees as payback for Dems booting Marge off hers in February 2021. All hell is about to break loose because the Supreme Court and judges in New York fucked with redistricting, and we need a plan to deal with it now. 

"We’ll focus on spurious investigations designed to hurt the Biden administration and Democrats and to usher Donald Trump back into power – none of which address the real challenges affecting the daily lives of Americans," CIP's website promises . Because "We can’t force them to act with integrity. But we can make sure the American people know the truth."

 A-freaking-men to that.

[ NYT / Politico ]

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