Since it has been almost five whole minutes since the Republican Party tried again to rebrand itself again unsuccessfully again (turns out stock photos can't vote; who knew?), there's a new new super extra new plan to convince voters the Republican Party does not suck.
Remember when they rebranded the poop and lube that follows anal sex as <i>Santorum?</i> That one worked pretty well! That stuff even went on to become a Presidential Candidate!
I&#039;ve always hated the &quot;new &amp; improved&quot; slogan: if it&#039;s new, by definition it cannot have been improved, and if it has been improved, it cannot be new. I&#039;m sure it came from the same genius people who came up with the idea of toilet paper on fatter tubes &quot;to accommodate today&#039;s (non-existent) larger holders.&quot;
All this Priebusplaining is becoming a confusing mess. Why won&#039;t the GOP just tell me that I have ebola and it&#039;s all because Obama let ISIS infect me?
Close second in the brainstorming session that led to this bold initiative: &quot;Republicans: the party of the <a href="https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/9\/96\/The_Gerry-Mander_Edit.png\/733px-The_Gerry-Mander_Edit.png" target="_blank">Gerrymander</a>.&quot;
Honestly, when he doesn&#039;t sound like a functioning alcoholic, Priebus sounds like a sarcastic truth-teller.
Alternately, they can go with &quot;the Grand Old Party: if you are a fearful, easily-led nincompoop who dreams of one day shooting a black person to death, WE NEED YOUR VOTE.&quot;
We&#039;ll need to drop the &quot;Not gonna lie&quot;
Because we <i>will</i> need to keep lying, and surely we don&#039;t want to mislead people about it! WHAT.
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn&#039;t make it a leg. __ Abraham Lincoln_
Remember when they rebranded the poop and lube that follows anal sex as <i>Santorum?</i> That one worked pretty well! That stuff even went on to become a Presidential Candidate!
Is there a website where they can get stock ideas? It works well for their photos.
I&#039;ve always hated the &quot;new &amp; improved&quot; slogan: if it&#039;s new, by definition it cannot have been improved, and if it has been improved, it cannot be new. I&#039;m sure it came from the same genius people who came up with the idea of toilet paper on fatter tubes &quot;to accommodate today&#039;s (non-existent) larger holders.&quot;
<i>Party Of &lsquo;Ideas&rsquo; </i>
Yeah. All evil ones.
Don&#039;t &quot;ideas&quot; need to be <em>new</em>? Not the same warmed-over slop they&#039;ve been serving since Nixon?
All this Priebusplaining is becoming a confusing mess. Why won&#039;t the GOP just tell me that I have ebola and it&#039;s all because Obama let ISIS infect me?
Close second in the brainstorming session that led to this bold initiative: &quot;Republicans: the party of the <a href="https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/commons\/thumb\/9\/96\/The_Gerry-Mander_Edit.png\/733px-The_Gerry-Mander_Edit.png" target="_blank">Gerrymander</a>.&quot;
Honestly, when he doesn&#039;t sound like a functioning alcoholic, Priebus sounds like a sarcastic truth-teller.
Well, it only took them 6 years to come up with the idea of being the party of ideas, so this should go well.
Alternately, they can go with &quot;the Grand Old Party: if you are a fearful, easily-led nincompoop who dreams of one day shooting a black person to death, WE NEED YOUR VOTE.&quot;
Too honest?
Is that graphic the new Republican ornament for truck mud-flaps?