Good morning, it’s tabs.
Hey, should Elmo resign from being Elmo? Just asking because this guy thinks so.
Maybe Elmo is currently serving as president of the Sesame Street Garden Club and also should resign from that, MAYBE.
What is Donald Trump afraid of us knowing about Jeffrey Epstein?
What are House Republicans afraid of us knowing about Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein? [Axios]
When Charlie Kirk said he was done talking about Epstein, he just meant THAT DAY. [Independent]
Meanwhile, Tim Pool is still one of the absolute stupidest ones their side has, and that’s saying a lot. It’s no wonder the Russians had such an easy time useful-idiot-ting him.
DAMN.
“Trump just delivered a word salad speech that would’ve got Biden impeached.” Yes! That is how you write about him! “In a few short remarks, the president revealed he has very little knowledge of the U.S. economy; is incapable of remembering where his own representatives or aides are and cannot stay awake during an early afternoon public appearance, Holly Baxter writes.” Correct, Holly Baxter! Things Trump said? That he has gotten 16 TRILLION DOLLARS in investment from abroad. (The whole US GDP is under $30 trillion, the article notes.) Also an extended hallucination about how his Uncle Doctor Scientist John Trump had taught Ted Kaczynski the Unabomber at MIT (no, he didn’t go there) and they had talked about him (no, uncle died before Kaczynski was known for anything). [Independent]
Yeah, just look at this excerpt:
Damn.
Los Angeles has been liberated, the troops are leaving. [Reuters]
Cool, ICE Gestapo lawyers don’t have to use their names anymore, IN COURT. [The Intercept]
Stupid Hitler’s little bitches have sent another planeload of migrants to a country they’ve never been to, in Africa. What they’re claiming about the people they sent, how could anybody know? Trump’s Nazis are pathological liars. [New York Times]
GOD, Hakeem sucks.
Idea, Dems: if we manage to win back the House next year, how about we don’t let this guy, who sucks, have the speakership?
Speaking of the midterms, here is Donald Trump openly calling for Texas to rig democracy for him some more, by redrawing their maps to make them EVEN MORE fascist Nazi bullshit.
Dang, y’all, the Nazi snowflakes are EXTREMELY TRIGGERED that we are talking about how they walk like Nazis, talk like Nazis, smell like Nazis, and are going to hell for their hate when they die like Nazis. So here is Greg Gutfeld on Fox News saying “We need to learn from The Blacks.” Sentences that start like that always end well, don’t they?
“What up, my Nazi?”
“Hey, what up, my Nazi?:
“Hey, what’s hanging, my Nazi?”
“Nazi, please!”
The most unimportant white people God ever dropkicked out of Heaven think they’ve stumbled onto something clever here. Wow.
Russ Vought, the literally evil, unsaved man at OMB about whom Jesus was specifically talking in Matthew 7:21-23, recently lied/"made a mistake" to the Senate when he said that PEPFAR — the miraculous George W. Bush-created program that was a game-changer in the fight against AIDS in Africa, and which Trump and his evil regime want to destroy — was used to pay for abortions in Russia. Well, guess what? In a brief victory for goodness, Senate Republicans have removed PEPFAR cuts from the “rescissions” bill of money they’re trying to claw back. We are sure all thesen vile Republican fistulas will come after it again, and every soon, but at least for now … Anyway, spoiler alert, the rescissions bill is still extremely fucked up and evil and anybody who supports it is going to hell. [New York Times / Politico]
The Trump regime is going to literally set fire to 500 tons of food aid meant for starving children, which was purchased at the end of the Biden administration under USAID, and expires this week. Does the Trump regime just get off on innocent children dying if they’re not white? [Atlantic]
We regret to inform you that we’ve been sleeping on Lana Del Rey and never listened to her until last night at the gym, when we put this record on. We will not make that mistake again.
‘Kay that’s it bye.
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A parliament of owls in your hed gif, source here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/the-gangs-owl-here
And a meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/ac7c103f-ac2c-4821-b85a-8a56ccdb25a4?utm_source=share
Here’s the thing… the n-clang word is that of an oppressor, and the oppressed people taking the word back is an act of freedom and empowerment. On the other hand, Nazis of history were self-named and perpetuated heinous acts of genocide. There is nothing positive that could be gained in reappropriating their identity. THEY WERE NEVER THE VICTIMS, whiny white assholes.