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Revenge Of The Prius Nerds: DOJ Sues eBay For Aiding And Abetting 'Rolling Coal'
Just because they're illegal? That's un-American!
In another shocking government overreach attack on America’s core freedoms, the Justice Department is suing online garage-sale facilitator eBay, accusing the company of selling and distributing hundreds of thousands of devices aimed at helping owners of diesel pickup trucks modify their emissions systems so the trucks can “roll coal.” That’s the hilarious practice of blowing thick black diesel exhaust into the faces of bicyclists, drivers of electric or hybrid cars, or just anybody on the street who needs thick black smoke in their face for eating outside, being in an area popular with snooty liberals, or just having it coming by being a pedestrian. Haha, stupid libs!
The federal complaint says eBay is liable because the aftermarket devices violate the Clean Air Act, that federal “no fun ever” law signed by communist Richard Nixon, by bypassing vehicles’ federally required emissions control systems.
Aftermarket defeat devices significantly increase pollution emissions – including carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides, particulate matter and nonmethane hydrocarbons – that harm public health and impede efforts by the EPA, states, Tribes and local agencies to plan for and attain air quality standards
The lawsuit also separately accuses eBay of selling illegal pesticide devices and banned paint-removal products as well, including one insecticide that should only be sold to certified pest-control techs — it was fraudulently being sold as a “protection” against the COVID virus. On the upside, it wasn’t being sprayed from lifted dually F-350s into the windows of Teslas.
Each illegal sale could earn eBay a fine of up to $5,580, meaning potential fines of $2 billion or more. Gosh that would be a shame.
EBay denies the claims, saying in a statement that it actually blocked
“more than 99.9% the listings for the products cited by the DOJ, including millions of listings each year.”
“And eBay has partnered closely with law enforcement, including the DOJ, for over two decades on identifying emerging risks and assisting with prevention and enforcement,” the online retailer said.
Ah yes, the old “I am but a simple merchant plying my trade as honestly as I can, officer” defense. It does rather make one wonder where exactly the DOJ got all the screenshots of product listings CNBC reports were included in its complaint (darned if we can find a copy).
In a related case, the DOJ announced in August that one manufacturer of the coal-rolling devices, “Sinister Diesel,” agreed to plead guilty to conspiracy and fraud charges, and to pay $1 million in fines for violating the Clean Air Act. Yes, even though some of the kits included warnings that the products were, wink-wink, for “offroad use” only, which doesn’t even make sense because you hardly ever find a Prius to roll coal on offroad.
In conclusion, nobody can have fun anymore and we’re sure Donald Trump will add this to his list of campaign grievances along with those toilets that you have to flush 20 times to even get rid of your patriotic MAGA dumps.
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