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Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Dear Motherfucker,

I assure you I can wipe my own ass. I wash it, too. Feel free to kiss it if you need confirmation.

I never gave a fuck about baseball, but I’ve whacked a few pretty good line drives.

I’ve held a job, owned a house and paid taxes. The job was “spokesman for a tax committee.”

I’m a pretty fucking decent poet and am prepared to prove it.

And getting a date if I wanted one has never been a problem. I’ve had to politely chase off two so far this spring because sometimes life is more complicated than we’d like it to be.

I’d warn that someone is signing your name to stupid letters, but you said that with your mouth.

Get fucked,

Red

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