18 Comments
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fuflans's avatar

this guy is a tool.

that is all.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

"They’ll accompany him to numerous events in dozens of towns including Ankeny, Council Bluffs, Davenport, Marshalltown, Sioux City and Iowa Falls."

Yeah, that's an epic summer vacation. This family's gonna be dysfunctional for the next 50 years.

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WA Bishop's avatar

Apple box, floating down the stream. "Go and tell 'em," he'll say as he lets it go. "Go down in the street and rot and tell 'em that way....Maybe they'll know then."

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JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

Lots of non-fetus young Americans are going on “Courage to Fight for American Values Tour" this summer. They call it a "deployment". That's the same thing as going to Iowa, right Ricky?

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Let's just say that I gave your name to the bouncer at The Gates.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Needs "Family" in the name.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

"Sinners are much more fun."

-The Book of Joel

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

"Daddy, I hope we're not there yet."

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

God elects those who elect themselves.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Seven kids, plus the missus, plus the hangers-on, hired sycophants, and make-up crew... "We're gonna need a bigger bus."

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

That's how you do it. The big question is: jar, or garbage bag in the swamp?

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Stage it outdoors, in an Oklahoma trailer park, in the spring, and God himself might take a twisted interest.

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MissusBarry's avatar

That's just fucking outstanding.

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𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Liberty University on-line correspondence school. Because it's a bit emabarassing to actually go to a town called "Lynchburg".

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MissusBarry's avatar

Sorry, Wonks, gotta go. I need to call my parents and apologize for everytime I intimated or actually stated that they were crazy or embarassing, seeing as they never made me be a toddler grassroots compaign organizer and, to the best of my knowledge, their (our) names are not associated in any meaningful way with buttsecks (nothing wrong with the buttsecks, quite the contrary, but still).

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Dashboard Buddha's avatar

"“Courage to Fight for American Values Tour.”"

Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, does it?

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