Rick Santorum Gives Mitt Romney the Oscar For Reading Teleprompter

It's America's big night for urban elitists who have seen whatever otherwise unknown movies are nominated for Academy Awards tonight -- consider it the Super Bowl for people who only drink box wine ironically, or the big NASCAR race/crash for people who still have most of their own teeth. Oscar (TM) Night is here! If, like us, you don't really care but still "have people coming over" to "get high" and "eat some bogus recipe made of things we heard about in theNew York TimesSunday Styles section, then by all means let's change the subject toreal(terrible) acting. We are talking about Mitt Romney, of course, and Rick Santorum's blistering new charge that Mittens is reading off a teleprompter when he woodenly reads his prepared remarks that were written months ago by some high-priced communications expert who should really be fired. You know whoelsereads off a teleprompter?

That's right, Hitler. We mean, "Billy Crystal." Because Billy Crystal is reading lame jokes off a teleprompter right now, on the teevee. The main difference between Billy Crystal and Mitt Romney is that a) a lot of people are actually watching and listening to Billy Crystal, and b) Mitt Romney was not inMonsters, Inc., as far as we know.

 Anyway, Rick Santorum:  

Many Republican candidates make barbed jokes about President Obama's use of a teleprompter. But Rick Santorum seemed to repurpose the jab Sunday to target rival Mitt Romney, who sometimes uses a teleprompter for speeches on election nights and other occasions.

"I never have to worry about what I say because I will say what's on my heart. I might not say it the most articulate sometimes and I understand that, but I have no teleprompters. I answer questions," Santorum told an audience at a nightclub here.

Anightclub? Santorum is giving his dimwit religious-nut speeches innightclubsnow? We are not sure if this is better or worse than speaking to empty football stadiums. [ CBS News ]