321 Comments
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ConnieHinesDorothyProvine's avatar

I'd say that Heidi also needs therapy to figure out why she stays with a man who elbows her in the face, accidental though it was.

Mary Stone's avatar

"he's still in the senate." THAT can be remedied, and it most likely will be.

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Ted Cruz has the face of Jesus? Does that mean Jesus looks like a guy with a windowless van with "Free Candy" painted on the side?

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I've seen it. No pun intended, but it's fucking awful. It looks like Ted Cruz was in charge of the production values.

matt10023's avatar

"Ted Cruz did not die in a fire made out of dildos soaked with the blood of the risen Christ" - pure awesomeness.

Wookie Monster's avatar

But God told Heidi he's destined for greatness!

Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Yeah. When Trump talked about Carly falling off the stage and Ted ignoring it.

"Even I would have helped her."

mary5920's avatar

I wish the Wonketters would tell us how they really feel?!Regarding Cruz, pappy Cruz, and all the little cruzzer types with their constant gawd references-- George Burns said (playing God) about the jive azz preacher, "He ran out of my words many years ago"

Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Post mortem? I though those are for when someone, somewhere cares why someone died.

Incoming Ham's avatar

What is his poor wife going to do when he turns to her and says, "Am I not likable?"

sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

She can say, "well, Ted... your dad likes you...maybe a little too much."

sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

Well... you forgot that he ate a lot of food during his campaign.

A LOT of food...

sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

Well, the world lost one of its greatest assholes when his teeth came in, so it seems he's fulfilled that destiny already.

pooracademic's avatar

At least it's nice to see that idiocracy trumps (ha!) theocracy.

Doctoryy Dilettanteyy Debbyy's avatar

I used to go to church and all of that...under the influence of glue.