321 Comments
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Jena-Auerstedt's avatar

And to lose. Again.

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ConnieHinesDorothyProvine's avatar

I'd say that Heidi also needs therapy to figure out why she stays with a man who elbows her in the face, accidental though it was.

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Mary Stone's avatar

"he's still in the senate." THAT can be remedied, and it most likely will be.

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Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Ted Cruz has the face of Jesus? Does that mean Jesus looks like a guy with a windowless van with "Free Candy" painted on the side?

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Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

I've seen it. No pun intended, but it's fucking awful. It looks like Ted Cruz was in charge of the production values.

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matt10023's avatar

"Ted Cruz did not die in a fire made out of dildos soaked with the blood of the risen Christ" - pure awesomeness.

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Wookie Monster's avatar

But God told Heidi he's destined for greatness!

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Daniel_Oriordan's avatar

Yeah. When Trump talked about Carly falling off the stage and Ted ignoring it.

"Even I would have helped her."

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mary5920's avatar

I wish the Wonketters would tell us how they really feel?!Regarding Cruz, pappy Cruz, and all the little cruzzer types with their constant gawd references-- George Burns said (playing God) about the jive azz preacher, "He ran out of my words many years ago"

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Comrade Wingtardd's avatar

Post mortem? I though those are for when someone, somewhere cares why someone died.

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Incoming Ham's avatar

What is his poor wife going to do when he turns to her and says, "Am I not likable?"

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sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

She can say, "well, Ted... your dad likes you...maybe a little too much."

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sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

Well... you forgot that he ate a lot of food during his campaign.

A LOT of food...

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sgt. jmk de la résistance's avatar

Well, the world lost one of its greatest assholes when his teeth came in, so it seems he's fulfilled that destiny already.

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pooracademic's avatar

At least it's nice to see that idiocracy trumps (ha!) theocracy.

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Doctoryy Dilettanteyy Debbyy's avatar

I used to go to church and all of that...under the influence of glue.

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