Romney Will Bequeath Personal Fortune to Tiny Little Man

America's favorite Mormon Frenchman and dog-torturing   varmint-killing plutocrat shocked a University of South Carolina crowd this week by hoisting aloft a toddler and declaring it his sole and personal heir. Apparently the child has the same middle name as Willard "Mitt" Romney, which is why the tyke will be having comical wheelbarrows of cash delivered to his crib. "He's getting all the money," crowed Romney. Also, the child is his grandson. [ YouTube ]