Ron DeSantis Gonna Ride Disney Monorail All Day So Nobody Else Can Ride, Rub His Butt On All The Teacups

All because he hates LGBTQ+ kids so much.

Ron DeSantis is so mad, he is clack-clack-clacking his little white boots around the house and pursing his lips, thinking of ways to teach Disney a lesson for continually and daily embarrassing the shit out of him. It's as if Disney doesn't even understand that its rightful boss is a mediocre white man with puffy red eyes whose parents lied to him and told him he was a special and beloved child of God.

DeSantis tried to punish Disney for opposing his anti-LGBTQ+ Christian fascist laws, by repealing the special tax district that allowed the company's Florida parks and surrounding areas to basically function as their own self-governing city, installing his own board of right-wing morons to oversee the area instead. In response, Disney's lawyers used a combination of legal expertise and a little sprinkle of the fairy godmother's magic dust to Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo all the power away from DeSantis's new board and give it directly back to the corporation, either forever or until 21 years after the death of the only real princess in the British royal family who was born in the United States.

Yeah, it was cool.

If you were a white man who had been told your whole life that you could do all things through Christ who strengthened you, but then all of a sudden your governorship of Florida suddenly pretty much entirely consisted of getting pantsed by Mickey Mouse while Minnie pointed and laughed, you might be pissy about it too.

So DeSantis had another public temper tantrum yesterday, announcing the ways he is going to punish Disney next.

 Disney's Middle Finger To DeSantis Was A Love Note To Lawyers 

The Disney versus DeSantis fight headed into round three on Monday as Florida’s governor announced that the Legislature will revoke development agreements that undercut the authority of the new local board he appointed and he will impose new regulations on the powerful entertainment company.

He will revoke the revoking that Disney's lawyers did to him!

DeSantis said he has authorized state agencies to increase regulatory oversight of Disney operations, such as the monorail system and amusement rides.

Ron DeSantis will ride the monorail back back and forth to the Magic Kingdom every day until it closes, so nobody else can ride it, and then when the park closes he will rub his bare bottom on all the teacups.

All because he hates LGBTQ+ kids so much.

He suggested the DeSantis-controlled oversight board could sell the Disney-run utility and negotiate with the state to use the company’s land for other purposes. “Maybe create a state park, maybe try to do more amusement parks,’’ he said.

What, like Universal Studios, which is down the road? Or any one of the other theme parks in central Florida? What, will Ron DeSantis have the state seize the company's land  for Cubato build some fuckin' conservative Christian Fascist theme park where instead of rides it's just forced pregnancy and right-wing Christian pastors who groom and sexually abuse kids? Because that's just   called   Florida. 

“Someone even said like, maybe you need another state prison. Who knows? I mean, I just think that the possibilities are endless.”

Uh huh.

DeSantis said the new board on Wednesday will declare the last-minute agreements signed by the old board with Disney void because they “have a plethora of legal infirmities.”

LMAO.

Just a whole plethora of 'em!

Look at this little loser brat. 

“DeSantis openly speculating about what the state could build next to Walt Disney World: “Someone even said, maybe you need another state prison…””

— Scott Gustin (@Scott Gustin) 1681752088 

In response, former RNC chair Michael Steele asked on Twitter, "So you want to 'analyze' putting a state prison next to Disney? When families stop visiting & Disney's $75.2B economic impact & $5.8B tax revenues drop; its 75K employees face layoffs & 463K jobs are also imperiled what would your analytics say caused that to happen?"

"WTF, Dumbo," he added.

And as formerly Florida-based reporter Jerry Iannelli said, "Can you imagine the number of subhuman groyper freaks you need to surround yourself with to think this is remotely a policy voters like?" He added:

“I literally cannot think of a less nationally appealing idea than "militarily occupy and/or destroy Disney World," like 95 percent of Typical American Life revolves around saving up money to take your grandkids there before you die”

— Jerry Iannelli (@Jerry Iannelli) 1681756635 

Usually we don't just quote editorializing from people on Twitter, but we can't imagine putting it more succinctly than that.

Also?

Raise your hand if you think Ron DeSantis understands the law better than Disney's lawyers, or that Disney's lawyers aren't ready for whatever idiocy DeSantis and his grunting minions in the Legislature throw their way. The Miami Herald has a few quotes from Florida legal experts pretty sure Disney can STILL see DeSantis coming from a mile away, or can hear his angry little boots stomp-stomp-stomping. (They also have some interesting things to say about the notion of DeSantis swooping in to lay claim to lands around the Disney parks. There's a lot going on there! We'll have more to say about it in other posts.)

They also quote a couple Republican members of the Legislature who can't seem to even pretend this isn't about how they are all gross pig-ignorant bigots:

“It’s time for Disney executives to have a sober conversation and retake the company from the radical ideologies that have hijacked it,” said Rep. Carolina Amesty, a Windermere Republican. “You are in the business of entertaining children and families. You are not in the business of social reengineering or promoting radical political ideologies. And if you think you are we have good news for you. As our great governor has said, Florida is a place where woke goes to die.”

Take a look at that particular idiot's Twitter feed. She was all over DeSantis's pissy ass press conference and seems very proud of it.

In related news, like five seconds after DeSantis made all these threats, Disneyland in California announced its first "Disneyland After Dark: Pride Nite" event in June, and they put it on their Twitter right there where Ron could see it:

“The first tweet by the company after DeSantis' press conference ended”

— Steven Lemongello (@Steven Lemongello) 1681761569 

So that's fun.

And in other DeSantis news, he told that creeper weirdo Benny Johnson yesterday that he is also boycotting Bud Light — but probably not returning Anheuser-Busch's campaign money —  except he said he didn't really drink Bud Light anyway, and that he likes Guinness better.

Guess which stout Irish beer staunchly supports the LGBTQ+ community? 

We'll be sure to let you know if Ron DeSantis ever stops kicking himself in the nuts.

[ Miami Herald ]

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