Ron DeSantis Will Close Florida's Beaches. By October, At The Latest!
Who knew Florida could find someone WORSE than Rick Scott!
If Gen Z wants to avoid becoming the next millennials, they better get their perky asses out of the water. With all those videos of drunk spring breakers thronging the beach in Florida, those kids are fast on their way to becoming the generation all the old people love to hate. They grow up so fast, don't they!
Clearwater Beach, Florida is PACKED today despite "social distancing" recommendations. https: //t.co/WzGydcP1Ja https://t.co/vsRD4QLbhr
— WFLA NEWS (@WFLA NEWS) 1584383080.0
Excellent social distancing going on there! Sure hope you kids are taking proper precautions. And no, I do not mean condoms. (Although, that too, obviously.)
We are doomed https: //t.co/EpIXKo84IH
— Barstool Sports (@Barstool Sports) 1584286116.0
It's cool, you guys, she takes SUPPLEMENTS.
But really, they're just kids. As my mother reminds me when my own genzies heat a wad of deli turkey by placing it directly on the toaster oven rack and pressing "Bagel," "they're not fully myelinated ." Which is a science-y way of saying, "Teenagers, whaddayagonna do?"
But Ron DeSantis has no excuse . The Florida governor is 41 years old, and he knows damn well he should close those beaches during a wildly contagious viral pandemic. He just doesn't want Florida's tourism industry to take the hit, so he waffled.
Not Ron DeSantis and happy sharkbait kids
"What we're going to be doing for the statewide floor for beaches, we're going to be applying the CDC guidance of no group on a beach more than 10 and you have to have distance apart if you're going to be out there. So that applies statewide," DeSantis said during a press conference Tuesday.
Define "have to." Because that would imply some kind of enforcement mechanism, other than the natural desire of a bunch of drunk 20-year-olds in their underpants to stay several feet apart and not touch each other. And if that's what we're relying on to protect us from disease, we're not gonna make it .
To DeSantis's (partial) credit, he did close bars and limit capacity at restaurants for 30 days starting Tuesday night. But at that point, all the spring break kids were already there.
"I'm not gonna let it stop me from partying": Some spring break visitors in South Florida lamented the restricted a… https://t.co/9kOPGNasYq
— CBS Evening News (@CBS Evening News) 1584558569.0
That nitwit kid can't even manage to work a tube of sunscreen, and we're counting on him to wash his hands to protect his grandma when he goes back to New Jersey or whichever mid-Atlantic state blessed him with that unmistakeable accent? Really?
"We've seen some big crowds on the west coast of Florida and I've had a chance to speak to mayors on both coast today," DeSantis continued at his press conference. "If … they want to continue to [leave the beach open], we want them to have the freedom to do that, but we also want them to have the freedom to do more if they see fit."
It's about local control, see. If the mayor of Amity wants to leave those beaches open and let those kids risk getting eaten by a shark, well, who is Ron DeSantis to tell him otherwise? Just like Andrew Cuomo leaving it up to Bill de Blasio whether he wanted to close the gyms, or nah, brah, it's leg day.
Oh, wait!
And it isn't only crotchety old Gen X'ers losing their minds in quarantine who are shouting at DeSantis to CLOSE THE GODDAMN BEACHES ALREADY, YOU ASSHOLE! Here's DeSantis's predecessor, Florida's former governor and currently quarantined senator, Rick Scott, telling DeSantis and the kids to knock that shit off already.
JUST NOW: "What are you thinking? Stop doing it! Now!" Florida @SenRickScott on the people still on FL beaches.… https://t.co/D51QOOO2OZ
— John Berman (@John Berman) 1584618677.0
Did Ron DeSantis actually make us agree with that bastard Rick Scott? The Medicare fraud guy who let those nursing home residents die without power during Hurricane Irma and then deleted the frantic messages to cover it up and banned the term "climate change" as a toxic red algae bloom poisoned Florida's beaches?
DAMMIT, RON! And go home, kids. Like, NOW.
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Compare the situation in NY and NYC with Florida. One state is run by Republicans the other by Democrats. Do I need to say more? Florida is having to have police monitoring the airports and highways to keep the People from Democrat controlled states out of Florida so we don't end up like them. Which state would you rather be in during this pandemic? Florida or NY?
Well it's a little like closing the barn door after the horse got out. We're up to over 3000 cases and climbing. And it's not because people from democratic states came here and gave it to us. It's because if alot of untested people moving about freely spreading it. Half the cases are no travel and no contact with a confirmed case. And only a handful traveled to any of those states. Look at the Villages. They thought it was all a hoax. Now they have over 50 cases because they thought it was ok to go party with all there friends at the restaurant s and activities they have. NOW theyre closed them down. And most of us still can't get tested. Wouldn't it be better to shelter in place. I've got a 78 year old mother and 75 year old Aunt to care for . I don't feel any safer,for them, because New Yorkers aren't allowed to come here. Thats why they are right here at home with me until this shit is under control And we ain't even close to that being the case.