Rumors On The Internets: April Still Cruelest Month

* Ancient Canadian comic to host White House correspondents' dinner -- thanks, Stephen Colbert! [ E&P ]

* Attack on Iran, come she will. [ Arab Times ]

* Don't ever change, The Note . You're perfect just as you are. [ Think Progress ]

* Mark Warner can quit campaigning anytime, really, he just likes it. [ Hotline on Call ]

* John McCain's two favorite things: "straight talk" and when Wolf swirls his tongue. [ Media Matters ]

* Return of the "The Fairness Doctrine" could force all broadcast news to resemble Fox. [ Captain's Quarters ]

* War on drugs: still the undisputed champion of unwinnable wars. [ Hit & Run ]