Rumors On The Internets: Kansas Senator Finally Put In Prison

* Sam Brownback figures if he spends the night in jail, he'll have to get some nutsack to butt-crack lovin'. [ Political Ticker ]

* Donald Rumsfeld is even in denial about the American Civil War. [ Think Progress ]

* "Experts" are now "evaluating" Ted Haggard's gayness. [ Pandagon ]

* Laura Bush is too classy to slap the bitch that was wearing her same dress -- she just had highly trained Secret Service agents go and fetch her another one. [ Boozhy ]

* "The greatest actor, ever" shares his wisdom on how to defeat terrorism, and defeat it the F.A.G. way. [ HuffPo ]

* Everything William Jefferson does is shady as shit. [ MyDD ]

* Noam Chomsky "could fart and it would smell like wisdom." [ Power, Seduction and War ]