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Rush Limbaugh's Unfortunate 'Under The Sea' Salad With Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip
Danger! Danger! This is a real recipe, somehow.
[Dok Zoom note: This is another classic recipe that has gone by the wayside, possibly for the best. We resurrect it here out of a perverse sense of misanthropy, the better to prepare you for the traditional William Burroughs Thanksgiving Poem]
OK, sure, we made fun of Rush Limbaugh for putting saccharine in his hot cocoa recipe and frying a chicken in Crisco. But were we being fair? Not really. We finally saw The Help, and according to Minnie, not only will Crisco soften your elbows but it is the Platonic Ideal for frying chicken. That thing was like a 2 hour and 30 minute Crisco commercial, with racism! We will buy a jar immediately!
BUT. Look what else we dug up! It is a recipe from Rush's mom, as also discovered by the Crap Archivist, in "Recipes from Old Cape Girardieu."

That, Wonkados, is what a young Rush Limbaugh ate for a treat: jello with pineapple and stuffed olives. ANDÂ MIRACLE WHIPÂ ON TOP. Not Cool Whip -- that lovely fake whipped cream in a tub -- but Miracle Whip, the mayonnaise blended with salad dressing.

photo from Village Voice (archive.org)Â
And now we know who is to blame for Rush Limbaugh turning out that way.
[ Village Voice (archived) / Image:  Tohad at DeviantArt]
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Rush Limbaugh's Unfortunate 'Under The Sea' Salad With Jello, Stuffed Olives, And Miracle Whip
The futuristic '50's featured a number of futurefoods. Most emblematic was jello, the phase-shifting foodoid product with colors and flavors which nature never knew. Above is an heroic painting of eaters in revolt against the brave new world of synthetic dessert salads, which they intend to launch at Aunt Dorothy's face.
David Duke's mom had a wonderful recipe for Klanned Klam Klusters.