262 Comments
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JWinfield's avatar

Tim Walz walked the dog twice today, gave the critter a bath and blow dry, clipped his nails and made a batch of organic Biscuits for future treats. When I got home I said, "I don't have a dog, this is the neighbors dog," he promised to do better next time, made a gourmet pot luck dinner for.my family then went to his rally with 50,000 strangers. Thanks, Tim Walz

Anthony Brooks-Sands's avatar

The comments on here are just brilliant, and had me laughing out loud….haha

Greg Brown's avatar

Hell, 99.9% of all secretly gay politicians are Republicans anyway. Always have been.

Greg Brown's avatar

Help, 99.9% of all secretly gay politicians are Republicans anyway. Always have been.

Greg Brown's avatar

That is cute! And I am so not surprised. There is a book from the 1980s written by an author who had connections throughout the Washington DC gay community titled God's Bullies. And its focus was on just this -- the self loathing, yet gay-as-I'll-get-out republican, white christian men.

Mommadillo's avatar

It's freaking hilarious Lindsey Graham's party wants to talk about closeted gays.

Carthago Delenda Est's avatar

Yes, the Irony Fairy def. wants a word.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

I'll tell my sister.😉

mitch's avatar

Great batch of articles , Gary . Sharing now

GrannysKnitting's avatar

i could see him stealing from the soviet union in a dadsy james bond kinda way, i'd totally believe that shit!

Bonnie's avatar

Honestly I worry about garden variety maga trash goons shooting up power transformers all at once or something, to set the stage for some kind of domestic terror.

Bitter Scribe's avatar

Tim Walz knew of the presence of a gay student in his high school and didn't immediately dispatch a squad from the football team he coached to beat the little fairy up. To MAGA that's the same thing as having sex with the kid.

Jamoche's avatar

Onion:

https://theonion.com/both-campaigns-release-ads-showcasing-trumps-most-racist-comments/

Featuring nearly identical video footage in two separate $25 million ad buys, the Donald Trump and Kamala Harris campaigns both debuted new commercials Tuesday that attempt to win support for their respective candidates with a supercut of Trump’s most racist comments.

...

Numerous viewers told reporters that only at the very end were they able to determine which candidate each ad was supporting, because one spot said “Stop Donald Trump” and the other said “Vote Donald Trump.”

Sir David Chaillou, KSW's avatar

Tim Waltz sawed a whale's head and fed it to a bear cub he later killed and dropped off in Central Park, incidentally catching brain worms in the process.

Uh, no, that's already been tried and it had no impact on voter preferences.

BC's avatar

Is that all they got? Tryna pin Donnie’s pedophile crimes on other people to protect Putin’s geriatric Snitchass pet?

Cleora's avatar

Every year of school, from kinder to Ph.D., should have mandatory classes in “Recognition and Rejection of Bullshit.” The fake Matthew Metro has no right ear (and it isn’t just because of camera angle). He doesn’t sound like a suburban Minnesota-raised guy (not a single “yah, you betcha”). Sounds like a “Nigerian prince” who will pay you if you help him free up the money he can’t get to. In retelling the worst story of his life, there really are no inflection changes. And, especially, can you imagine Tim Walz, the self-described “knucklehead,” saying to a teenager, “I know what you want…I like men, too!”? Yup, that’s some schlocky bullshit, amirite? 🤪

subterrene's avatar

Personally, based on factual evidence such as the Tennessee group that was paying right-wing media celebs to spread Russian propaganda (among many other data points), I think a lot of online outrage generates from behind the Vodka Curtain these days. I just think the expenditure on Vlad's "Special Operation" has made the effort less effective this year than in times past.

Hops: grrrr mad's avatar

...Vodka Curtain...

Stollen!

Anne Speck's avatar

Sadly, the *real* kicker is the Republicans are currently planning to vote for a rapist, who's been accused of the rape of a child -- in legal court documents, so a lawyer had to sign them -- and are following every act of Gym Jordan like groupies -- in spite of the evidence that he knew and ignored about the sexual assault of kids in his locker room.

So, only Democrats care enough about this stuff to see if it's true; Republicans will pat themselves on their backs for not supporting Dems while the stink in the GOP house is so much worse.

VwllssWndr's avatar

I don't think right-wingers consider rape a crime.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

They certainly don't 'get' consent.

Eileen's avatar

Horribly true.

Erin's avatar

Last I checked it was Denny Hastert who's doing time for screwing kids he was supposed to be coaching, but go ahead, MAGA.