Sad, Jobless America Getting Angrier/Dumber About Islam Thing Somewhere

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   Did you spend the weekend trying to sell off the rest of your meager possessions and avoiding news about the 20 million flood victims in Pakistan? Then you may be one of the 309 million Americans who aren't dedicated enough to keeping America's Deadly Muslims from building a "Muslim World" resort on the ashes of America's 9/11. Several hundred real Americans took open-top tour buses to New York City for the first time over the weekend and were delighted to find something racist/idiotic to do once released near the Sacred Ground (Wall Street) of Lower Manhattan.They were fat and loud and soon their Racist Queen (Newt Gingrich) will lead them into a shallow pond somewhere, to drown, for America. [ New York Daily News / Seattle Times ]

• Deep below the Earth in the mining colony of Australia, neither the left ("Labor") nor the right ("Liberals") have won a majority in national elections. With results still uncertain in five of Australia's electoral divisions (all called "Florida," per international law), the ruling Labor party and Liberal "coalition" are each expected to end up with 73 seats in the (Australian) House of Representatives. This is so scary/unsettled that everybody is freaking out -- voting is compulsory on this prison isle -- and only the local mining stocks are profiting from the great fear. Experts say Australia's royal queen, David Cameron, may soon make some sort of decision "by post" in distant Mother England. [ ABC / Financial Post / The Australian ]

• Do you like to eat the bleached infertile globs of shelled fat produced by our nation's chicken concentration camps, for breakfast? Then you may be sick right now, because of this, plus all your other habits. Also -- and possibly unrelated -- you may have rectal cancer. [ CNN / LAT ]