Sad News For Reckless Idiots! Tabs, Fri., May 3, 2024

That's a good headline. Morning news roundup!

DAWWWWW SUGAR GLIDER! Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

I’m with Bernie: Joe Biden keeps doing historic, amazing shit the Left has been demanding forever and doesn’t get the credit he should, and "Hamas is a terrorist organization that started this war. Israel had the right to defend itself, but it does not have the right to go to war against the entire Palestinian people." The last part of the quote is true, and a lot of people are forgetting the first two. (USA Today)

Well good lord these blurbs from Trump’s hush money trial. Davidson thought Cohen was going to kill himself. Cohen thought he was going to be Trump’s AG or chief of staff. The definition of “sexual and/or romantic.” All of it, yow. (Politico)

Do you like nightmares? Here’s the new Florida state regulations — since its six week abortion ban has now gone into effect — mandating how doctors treat women whose 16-week pregnancies have ruptured. Shout out to Louisiana and Idaho too! (Abortion, Every Day)

Department of Homeland Security and Border Patrol needs to stop seizing state-legal New Mexico weed at “border” checkpoints 80 miles from the border. Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham is pissed. (Politico)

Utah lady, don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself! (Salt Lake Tribune)

I’ve been telling my mom the American Catholic Church is getting a lot more like the one Shy grew up in — Santorum Opus Dei-style rightwing, which is why all the Gingriches and Bannons et al. are converting to it — than the one I did, with the commie lib sisters and the guitar masses. She does not believe me! The AP goes longread on the mix of fewer Latinos and more weirdo young TradCaths, plus the conservative young priests (“young” being probably my generation, Gen X), driving the change, while all the lovely old lib priests are like 80 now :( (AP)

At least two of you yesterday liked Lemon Jelly’s “Space Walk.” Maybe you will also like “Nice Weather for Ducks”!

Facebook now just bots sending AI to other bots while they all wish each other an amen birthday, and they will continue to do so after the earth has crashed into the sun. (404 Media)

Hey, how’d your vet bill rise so high so fast? If you’d thought about it, you’d have guessed “private equity”! Those guys got their grimy little paws in every pie! (Helaine Olen at The Atlantic)

Southern Congressmen Sanford Bishop Jr. of Georgia and Don Davis of North Carolina have introduced the HEIRS Act to keep Black farmers on their land. (Bishop) This is so important, you guys ever read those crazy stories about the lawyers who take all the Black land? Here, here’s one, it’s CRAZY. (Pro Publica)

Sad news for reckless idiots, Hawaii’s taking down its “stairway to heaven,” the Haiku steps. (Frommers)

TORONTO! Come and join us SUNDAY, MAY 19, from 3 to 6 p.m., at the Fairmont Royal York’s LIBRARY BAR! Drinks and snacks are, as always, on me!

No, I mean, they’re on me, like a sexy lady sushi tray. Just kidding, no they’re not. I’m buyin’! By which I mean the Wonks are buying!

SNACKS: Our partner Martie has hella cheap good snacks on overstock and YOU are keeping them out of the landfill. If you purchase through our link, we get a honkin’ commission. This was an ad!

If you are shopping on Amazon anyway, using this link gives us a small commission on everything you buy until you check out (unless you close the tab first, obviously).