Uhh, wasn't this supposed to bewrapped upby now? No. Not when all your candidates are so terrible. Rick Santorum is back in the race, in other words. He won Missouri! That's ... let's see, 55% for Santorum, which is DOUBLE Mitt Romney's second place finish. Meanwhile, in the "near the Mormons" state of Colorado, Mittens is making an impressive showing of ... third. Newt Gingrich should have this nomination wrapped up pretty soon now, whenever "Texas" happens, right? Mitt Romney is the world's lamest front runner since, we guess, Walter Mondale? And now Santorum has officially won Minnesota, too. Will it be a THREEPEAT, or whatever? UPDATE: Oh boy, it's a threepeat. After his triple-penetration three-way,
Hey Bachman, Perry, and Caine! C'mon back in, this is WIDE OPEN! The Republican electorate has no fucking idea what they want!
Paging Chris Christie and Jeb Bush, white courtesy phones, please.
You call this living?