Sarah Palin Calls Chris Christie Big Gross Fatty, For Sisterhood; Also, Pretty Suspicious Of This Commie New Pope

And it's another day in the Sarah Palin Got A Book Out Y'all tour of network teevee. What can we learn from her dulcet tones and gentle murmurs today?

First, would it shock you to learn that Sarah Palin said a Thing, and it was True, and Correct? No, we mean it. Might wanna take a seat on your sit-down place, because True Correct Thing What Fell Out of Sarah Palin's Tattooed Lipliner Lips is comin' atcha!

"[Hillary Clinton] can expect that sexism, but you overcome it. You ignore it. You thicken your skin, you march forward with your agenda, your priorities, what you think is right," said Palin.

"Hillary Clinton was mistreated when it came to appearances, when it came to wardrobe – petty, superficial things that the men don't ever seem to hear much about, but a woman candidate will," she said.

Well shut your mouth, Sarah Palin! No, really, shut your mouth. But yes, that thing is Correct, and it is True, and Hillary Clinton does in fact have cankles so she should be invisible and die please. And also, sometimes we focus more on Sarah Palin's boob job and on her hilarious wig than on what is going on underneath it, because we are sometimes guilty of a cheap shot or two ourselves, but also her boobs and wig are hilarious.

Then she called Chris Christie a big gross fatty.

New Jersey Republican Gov. Chris Christie’s weight often fuels comments about his appearance.

"That's because it's been extreme. So it's hard for some people not to comment on it," said Palin.

And that is what passes for discretion, when you are either Sarah Palin or your Wonkette. But what of our beloved New Pope? Yesterday, we saddened many of you by continuing to make you love him despite all your best efforts. Now that you know he is freaking out Sarah Palin, WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW???

"He's had some statements that to me sound kind of liberal, has taken me aback, has kind of surprised me," said Palin. But "unless I really dig deep into what his messaging is, and do my own homework, I’m not going to just trust what I hear in the media."

Sorry Sar-Bear, but it's not the filter of the media of the interpretation of the message of the media outlets with the filterin' and the interpretin' that's turning New Pope into some kinda big gay bortion lovin' commie, it's New Pope, because he's New Pope.

[ CNN / CNN ]