Sean Hannity Can Haz ALL DONALD TRUMP'S LAWYERS?

This Sean Hannity's real face.

Sean Hannity Week is the best Infrastructure Week ever! (Is it Infrastructure Week? We just assume it always is these days.) It turns out Hannity wasn't just the top secret "third client" of the Trump idiot thug fixer with the droopily punchable face, Michael Cohen. Hannity is blazing a snail trail through ALL the president's lawyers, which sounds strange, since Trump ain't got no real lawyers. But still! Whatever lawyers Trump has left, Sean Hannity gonna need to spray his scent all over them too, ASAP.

Consider the story by Rosie Gray in  The Atlantic , about the time wingnut Muslim-hater-lady Debbie Schlussel was alleging that Hannity had grossed all over her and tried to lure her to his hotel room. That was NOT TRUE, at least according to Sean Hannity! So he called up two of the world's finest legal minds, and they were Trump idiot lawyer Jay Sekulow, the only outside Russia lawyer Trump has managed to keep, whose professional experience mostly consists of "religious freedom" work, AKA those cases where they tell judges Jesus is going to cattle prod their clients in hell if they bake cakes for gaywads ...

... and this idiot lawyer lady, Victoria Toensing, who goes on Hannity's show with her greasy husband Joe diGenova ALLTHEFUCKINGTIME, and whom Trump VERY BRIEFLY retained as a new Russia lawyer, along with said greasy husband, by suddenly announcing it on Twitter ...

And Hannity said "MAKE DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL BE QUIET NOW!" So Sekulow and Toensing fired off a lawyer letter to the radio station where Schussel made the "Hannity is sew gross!" allegations, which we guess said, "Shut up shut up shut up! Signed, Some V. Serious Lawyers":

On May 25, 2017, KFAQ, a radio station based in Tulsa, Oklahoma, received a cease-and-desist letter signed by two lawyers for Hannity: Victoria Toensing and Jay Alan Sekulow. Toensing’s signature sits above her name and that of her husband Joseph E. diGenova, the members of diGenova and Toensing LLP, who are identified as “Counsel for Sean Hannity,” according to a copy of the letter obtained by The Atlantic . Sekulow is also identified in the letter page as a “Counsel for Sean Hannity.”

And it worked, we guess, because Schlusselwalked it all back very soon after.(CORRECTION:  She DID NOT WALK IT BACK! See update here! Our "guess" that lawyer letters from these dumb idiots actually scare people was apparently incorrect!)

Toensing was very mad when she found out The Atlantic was reporting on this:

“I’ve just learned in the press that anybody who is Sean Hannity’s lawyer is going to be blasted so I think this phone call is over,” Toensing said. “I’m wondering what attorney-client privilege means to anybody. I don’t say who my clients are, sometimes I do, and many times, most of the time, I do not.”

That is just a very good definition of attorney-client privilege, Victoria Toensing. NEVER talk about your clients, except sometimes, and many times, but not most of the time. We can see why she is considered a power player inside the Beltway, haha just kidding no she isn't. But yes, being Hannity's lawyer is a stain that doesn't come off very easily, but it's nothing compared to the stain Trump leaves on lawyers.

Toensing also was Scooter Libby's pardon lawyer and happens to represent a few other people caught up in the Trump-Russia investigation, like Mark Corallo, the guy who quit repping Trump's legal team when he saw what looked like obstruction of justice happening right before his very eyes. Of course, you'll remember Trump, after hiring diGenova and Toensing on Twitter after seeing them on TV, almost immediately YOU'RE FIRED them after he met them at the White House, we assume because they are very stinky when you sniff them up close.

So this is all fun! To be clear, Hannity has admitted on TV that Sekulow has done legal work for him, because Hannity is very   full of ethics. Therefore the question remains: Why he no admit it with Michael Cohen? After all, according to Hannity, he and Cohen only talk about "real estate stuff" like "How would adding a room specifically designed for investigating Hillary's uraniums affect resale value?" Doesn't seem like it should be that big of a deal.

(Unless their "real estate" communications are much more illegal than that. Or unless Cohen did "fixer" work for Hannity on all kinds of gross stuff. Who can say?)

Carol Leonnig and the rest of the PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING team at the Washington Post   report that, because Trump ain't got no Russia lawyers except Sekulow and this other in-house counsel idiot Ty Cobb, the president is yet again trying to expand his legal team, because that worked so well when he tried to hire greasy Joe 'n' Victoria off the TV. They have now reached out to a new guy named Robert Bonner, and if Bonner takes the job, we will assume it is because he is also a greasy idiot.

And if that happens, Sean Hannity will obviously have to ALSO retain Bonner, to represent him in very important "real estate" business, or maybe just to help catch and kill a story about illicit fucking.

Whatever he ultimately retains Trump's next lawyer for, we won't get to know about it, because that's 'TORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE.

 Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.  

 Are you a fairly regular Wonkette reader and have had a nagging little voice for some time saying “you should throw Wonkette a buck every month”? We would surely appreciate it! 

[ The Atlantic ]