Sebastian Gorka Pretty Sure FBI Bugged Trump's Toilet In Act Of War On Real American Hobbits

Havin' a normal one!

The wingers are really taking the piss on this Mar-a-Lago raid. Or perhaps they are drinking it, laced with a potent mix of PCP and anabolic steroids? Allegedly ?

How else to explain this insane rant from MAGA loon Sebastian Gorka on Steve Bannon's podcast?

“Seb Gorka tells Steve Bannon that he has an anonymous source inside the FBI who supposedly told him he believes they planted listening devices at Mar-a-Lago.”

— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦) 1660507798 

"Let me share this with you, nobody's heard this. I spoke to a guy who had 23 years in the Bureau today, in every division. In Crim, in CI, in CT, who said to me this today, Steve," the Hungarian Nazi shouted, poking his finger wildly at the camera. "Given the amount of equipment they rolled in to Mar-a-Lago, and the fact they spent nine hours there, he believes the Bureau left surveillance equipment — bugs — inside the president's residence. That's in America, Steve! They've declared war on 74 million Americans!"

Well, that settles it. If Gorka's very real girlfriend who was recently inCanadathe FBI says the agents must have planted bugs at the former president's Florida trash palace, then it must be true.

"Why else do you demand the security cameras be switched off? Skullduggery!" he ranted later in the interview, which you can watch in its entirety on Rumble if you are struggling with unwanted feelings of sexual arousal and would like to feel nothing of the kind for a solid month at least.

This was before the storyline switched to "we watched the whole thing on security cameras" — no doubt The Gorkster will feel real dumb when that camera footage comes out and shows nothing of the kind.

"The FBI has become the Gestapo of the United States," he screamed. And it seemed like he actually meant that like it was something he wouldn't like.

Later he reported a "secretary" at the FBI supposedly messaged him saying, "I'm so ashamed of my agency, but I have to pay the rent."

"You know what I responded, Steve?" he said, barely pausing for air, much less a response. "Then you are complicit in treason. If you don't walk out of the building now, you are complicit in treason! What did our Founding Fathers pledge their lives, their treasure, and their sacred honor to? So that you could pick up a paycheck and get a pension after 22 years?"

Why yes, this was five seconds after boasting about all the work he's done and continues to do with the Defense Department.

Gorka, who was fired from his White House job in May of 2017, was reportedly unable to get a security clearance beyond the one temporarily granted to new employees, thanks to his 2016 arrest after he got caught with a 9mm handgun at Reagan National Airport. He was similarly denied a security clearance in Hungary in 2002, which effectively ended his hopes of a career in government there and caused the native Briton to set forth for America's shores. Damn you, Hungary!

"You've had a clearance. You had a clearance in the Navy, I had a secret clearance in the British army, I had a TS/SCI in the White House like you did," he said, glossing over the other unpleasant business and insisting that "I still have my clearance because of some stuff I do for the DOD."

He then went on to insist that all classification authority flows from the president, and so it is fine actually if a guy who has been out of office for 18 months keeps classified documents he stole from the White House in a closet near the pool in a commercial establishment where he charges people an entry fee and employs a rotating cast of foreign nationals.

"If he was keeping documents in his safe, who cares? He's the former president, Steve!" he shouted, envisioning himself and Steve as brave FBI agents, who, if asked to "bust down the president's door," would have had the manly virtue to say "take your badge, and take my stinking gun, I am not your Gestapo."

"This is the collapse of the Republic, the FBI has to be dismantled," he ranted, adding that "they have tried to kill the king six times, and as the saying goes, if you try to kill the king, you better kill him."

Yes, that is exactly how that saying goes.

"We, the hobbits in the shire, the real patriots have to get him back in the White House," Bilbo Gorkins insisted before being shuffled off to rant somewhere else because even Steve Bannon has his limits.

Anyway, take it from a retired FBI agent and a secretary, both of whom 100 percent totally exist. The FBI just bugged Trump's toilet, therefore we'll all be hearing him say goodnight to those Big Macs and Sean Hannity real soon.

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