265 Comments
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John R Hoffman's avatar

Do Speaker Johnson and his son still compare their spankbanks? Enquiring minds, and all that.

Littorally Speaking's avatar

These assholes might want to consider *their* SCOTUS gave Brandon complete immunity for “official acts”, which could end up being the greatest self-own in political history.

Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Evan. Squeaker of the Louse has a lot to answer for. No, Mikey, Jesus didn't die for you.

Caepan's avatar

I find myself saying this more and more often, thanks to the Republican seditionists like Holy Mike:

Fuck these fucking fuck-faced fuckers with a fuckload of fucks.

Hank Napkin's avatar

"... fuckload of rusty fucks" please.

Caepan's avatar

How about "a fuckload of fucked-up fucks?"

Gotta keep the alliteration flowing, like SkepiKC.

Hank Napkin's avatar

"a fuckload of fatal fucked-up fractal fucks?"

Caepan's avatar

I like it... but needs moar "fucks."

John R Hoffman's avatar

Fuckity-fuckity-fuck! Fuckity-fuckity-fuck! Fuckity-fuckity-fuck! This is kinda fun.

Hank Napkin's avatar

Needs loophole to do crime?

"M"'s avatar

I am ... interested

Has this man been rehired by the Biden-Harris Administration ...?

https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-fires-guy-who-made-2020-election-too-hard-to-steal-thats-it-thats-the-headline

Especially since Joe is one of those dudes who doesn't have my (heavily annotated as equally as heavily justified) bias against hiring Republicans during this timeline?

Herr Snackmeier's avatar

Thanks to the fiasco of the Election of 1800, our Constitution was amended so that the *incoming* new Congress elected the previous November counts the electoral votes for president and vice president on Jan. 6.

So, no guarantee that Mikey will be speaker on January 6, 2025.

His party first has to win a majority of seats. Then, that majority must, under the Constitution and House rules, elect a speaker. Then, that speaker can cause a constitutional crisis at the joint vote-counting session on Jan. 6.

So, tall order for Mikey. He can't even get his people to vote for the most basic of his bills. And this guy thinks he will get each of them re-elected?

While granted, we are in one of the stupider timelines, that outcome seems a low order of probability.

cmd Human Scum's avatar

I am constitutionally confused. Where would Mikey be in the process - after the VP does her thing? The thing Pence did?

Herr Snackmeier's avatar

From the National Archives & Records Administration:

"Congress meets in joint session to count the electoral votes. The Vice President, as President of the Senate, presides over the count and announces the results of the Electoral College vote. The President of the Senate then declares which persons, if any, have been elected President and Vice President of the United States.

If any objections to the electoral votes are made, they must be submitted in writing and be signed by at least one-fifth of the members of the House and one-fifth of the Senators.

[This is where Mikey would ratfuck the process -->]

*******If objections are presented, the House and Senate withdraw to their respective chambers to consider the merits of the objection(s) under procedures set out in Federal law.********

Only two grounds for objection are acceptable: that the electors of the State were not lawfully certified under a Certificate of Ascertainment, or that the vote of one or more electors has not been regularly given.

If no Presidential candidate wins at least 270 electoral votes (a majority of the 538 available votes), under the 12th Amendment to the Constitution the House of Representatives decides the Presidential election. If necessary, the House would elect the President by majority vote, choosing from among the three candidates who received the greatest number of electoral votes. The vote would be taken by State, with each State having one vote. (The District of Columbia does not vote because it doesn't have voting members in the House of Representatives.)

If no Vice Presidential candidate wins at least 270 electoral votes (a majority or the 538 available votes), under the 12th Amendment the Senate elects the Vice President. If necessary, the Senate would elect the Vice President by majority vote, choosing between the two candidates who received the greatest number of electoral votes. Each Senator would have one vote."

Source: https://www.archives.gov/electoral-college/key-dates

cmd Human Scum's avatar

So it was after the jerks filed the objections and they had retreated to the chambers that the peaceful tourists showed up.

Ward From Cali's avatar

Once again... WONKETTE NEEDS TO START PAYING ATTENTION TO HOUSE RACES!!! Goddammit, do we want this motherfucker to be Speaker when they count the EC vote next year?

"M"'s avatar

The comment above your addresses it

"So, no guarantee that Mikey will be speaker on January 6, 2025.

His party first has to win a majority of seats. Then, that majority must, under the Constitution and House rules, elect a speaker. Then, that speaker can cause a constitutional crisis at the joint vote-counting session on Jan. 6.

So, tall order for Mikey. He can't even get his people to vote for the most basic of his bills. And this guy thinks he will get each of them re-elected?

While granted, we are in one of the stupider timelines, that noting seems beyond far-fetched."

^^ as do the last couple of paragraphs of the OP

Can we clarify -- are you looking for more coverage of which seats are flippable?

Because I can start by telling you that districts 16, 17, 18, & 19 in New York State are in play (because of the gerrymandering and the state Democrats' refusal to acknowledge that Republicans are not playing by the same rules when it comes to preservation of democracy at state or federal level and so they bent over backwards to "be fair", which so far has resulted in both Jamal Bowman and Mondaire Jones losing their seats (the latter is running again this election))

AND that no seat can be taken for granted

AND that we should be contesting in all 50 states ...

... but then that's what I'm always saying

Ward From Cali's avatar

That helps. A couple to add. Alaska at-large (Mary Peltola’s first re-election without a Palin on the ballot) and Virginia 7th (Eugene Vindman, tight race).

Pexas Teat's avatar

I think Jared Golden (ME 2) is likely to win, despite polling.

Ward From Cali's avatar

Ranked choice voting is a big help for him.

Pexas Teat's avatar

I LOVE ranked choice voting. It's so great, and I wish more places had it.

It allows purity ponies to vote their first choice without spoiling the election.

"M"'s avatar

I remember seeing Rachel do a segment on Mary P

I think part of the problem may be the Confederate Republicans do so many horrible things with national impact that there’s literally no editorial space left and we have to all look after our own regional Congressional races for control of the House

Ward From Cali's avatar

Which would be foolish in the extreme. If Republicans control the House in January, there is a much better chance that what we think about or vote about anything else just won't matter.

desimomo's avatar

OK, but then what? He doesn't certify the results because he thinks the election was unfree and unfair, so...Biden stays President?

"M"'s avatar

" unfree and unfair"

For the 1000th time, I don't understand why journalists don't force these traitors to

DEFINE

THE

TERMS

Why does nobody ever ask "What do you MEAN by 'free'? How do you DEFINE 'fair'?"

Ward From Cali's avatar

No, Biden's term expires on January 20th, with or without an elected successor.

Guess who becomes President if there is no certified President or Vice President-elect?

Herr Snackmeier's avatar

His statement clear indicates he is willing to force a constitutional crisis based on his mere opinion.

Under the Electoral Vote Count Act, by the time electoral vote packages make it to Congress to be opened and counted on Jan. 6, the chief elections officers and the chief executive officers of every state and DC have certified the ballots as accurate, true and authentic.

So, as Cruz and other wet farts did on Jan. 6, 2021, Mikey is saying today, quite clearly, that he is reserving the option to extralegally and extraconstitutionally declare by fiat that the certification process for one or more states was somehow flawed -- despite the clear fact that Congress's possession of the electoral ballots is itself conclusive proof that the ballots are true and correct.

In the most corrupt presidential election in history (1876), Congress's problem wasn't fraudulent popular voting. Rather, it was a fraudulent certification process evidenced by at least two states submitting more than one set of allegedly certified ballots. Each set of ballots elected different candidates. Because of the closeness of the national electoral vote totals, the political confrontations in the state governments of Florida and Louisiana during Reconstruction became Congress's problems. That's a fiasco. What Mikey's positing here is just electoral theft.

In 2024, the speaker of the United States House of Representatives is saying no, he won't follow the law or the constitution -- or his oath -- on Jan. 6, 2025, if he can plausibly vandalize the system to elect his preferred candidate. He said quite clearly that well, yes, if it would exact too much of a political and personal cost to throw the election to Trump then, well, yes, we'd have to accept reality and declare Harris elected president.

So, what happens if Mikey maliciously jams his sabot into the electoral machinery? Who knows.

Biden would still be commander-in-chief of the armed forces and federal law enforcement. And Mikey would be way out in front of his skis.

And Mikey, an inveterate gambler who always puts his marker down on a losing option, is telling us he bets that that chaos will make it *easier* for him and his clique to install their preferred candidate as president, regardless of the true electoral outcome.

The calls for fascist dictatorship are coming from inside the Capitol.

Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

I hope Biden declares martial law, jails Trump, Johnson, McConnell, 6 SC justices, and then says "anyone else wanna piece of me"?

Littorally Speaking's avatar

Those sure do sound like “official acts”, all right.

Alternative Dog's avatar

If things are clearly going south, I'd say this is absolutely the correct approach. He has absolute immunity from prosecution for any official acts and maintaining national security and defending the constitution are pretty much the most official acts a president can take.

Lefty Wright's avatar

If Georgia requires every county to hand count ballots, then recount them for accuracy, this could take decades to resolve. Because hand counting of ballots with dozens of offices and maybe a hundred or more candidates is notoriously imprecise. Assuming their will be at least 5 million ballots in Georgia, what are the odds of two hand counts being exactly the same? Especially if the MAGA cult is doing the counting in some counties. That is why the GOP is pushing for hand counts. Delayed reporting and inconsistent counts. Then whine about fraud, delay certification by Congress, send it to Congress or the hacks on the Supreme Court, and have Trump declared winner. Because even if Democrats win the majority of the House seats if it goes to Congress, each state only gets one vote. If Republicans represent the majority of states they get to decide.

The only way to fix this is a constitutional amendment, with the president selected by simple majority or plurality of the popular vote, but that will never happen. Even states controlled by Democrats with smaller populations will not agree to give up the slight edge in power the Electoral College gives them.

easelox is on timeout's avatar

the new law says hand count the total number of ballots, not tabulate the votes.

Which on its face might be illegal, since it does not comply with ballot handling rules.

Its chaos, the intended effect

Vagenda and Peeara's avatar

Biden needs to declare martial law, and hopefully the military will back him. Get rid of the 6 corrupt SC justices, lock Trump and Johnson up, and throw away the key.

Queen Méabh's avatar

I just had a thought, which I guess I should have had long before, and it is this ... Can Kamala Harris, as VP, certify the Electoral College vote results even if she’s the winning presidential candidate? And the answer is yes, of course she can. Duh. The vice president can and does oversee the counting of Electoral College votes even if they are a presidential candidate. 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. I don't know why I never thought about this before. However, I'm pretty sure some MAGA idiot is going to challenge this, if they haven't already.

Tessie's avatar

Perhaps the current legally immune President should have Banality of Evil taken aside for a friendly little chat in a quiet, windowless room.

Tessie's avatar

"With his fingers presumably crossed behind his back so it could be his little secret with Jesus that he was lying"

`

Once, after I ate an apple, I threw the apple core on the floor. I went behind the couch, though, so Baby Jesus couldn't see me do it.

In my defense, I was four.

Tessie's avatar

From an editorial in Daily Kos:

"Some fear the Speaker of the House Mike Penis euphemism won’t certify the election. But he will. He will quietly certify the election and say nothing more about it. In the face of Trumpism in smithereens, Johnson won’t volunteer to be the last soldier to die in the war."

`

I think he's being overly optimistic here, but I do see his point.

Christine's avatar

Well, let’s make sure this fuck face isn’t the speaker on 1/6/25!

Blamethrower:  The Weirdening's avatar

I still think a couple more GQP house asshats are forced out before then.