Sellout Shocker: Hillary 'Gave Her Face' To GOP Makeup Queen

All 17 people who watched last week's Democratic debate said Hillary Clinton looked hot, which is so disturbing that we've been binge-eating seasickness pills ever since. Did she do the Botox, or have plastic surgery, or what?!

Turns out she doesn't even have a makeup person on staff and just lets random weirdos do her up before appearing on television. So when former beauty queen and current Republican Kriss Soterion showed up at the New Hampshire debate, the Secret Service just let her by. Says Kriss:

* "She just had normal skin for a woman her age, no sign of anything at all."

* "And then she took a deep breath, her shoulders went down three inches. She put her hands on her knees and lifted her chin to me, like she gave me her face."

* "My hope was that I would get my hands on her because I had an idea of what I would like to do."

Soterion worked such wonders on Hill that CNN's taking her to the next debate, in South Carolina, where she'll do the makeup on all the Dem candidates. That's right, they all wear makeup. And she's got plenty of experience painting up boy performers such as both President Bushes, Pat Buchanan, John Kerry and Jimmy Carter -- who all look like ghouls.

 Miracle worker: Cosmetics maven wrought a marvel of makeup on Hillary [Boston Herald]