Senate GOP Rolls Up Sleeves, Gets To Work Blocking Every Obama Appointment

After a gloriously fulfilling celebratory circle-jerk for not 'killing the hostage' of the global economy, the Senate took a well-deserved two-week vacation. Unfortunately, tradition requires that they come back and find new ways to grab headlines without actually doing anything. While the Senate GOP would like nothing more than to get medieval on Ted Cruz's ass for dropping their approval numbers slightly lower than a Christmas stocking full of Santorum, our hero Stormin Mormon Harry Reid is going to try to accomplish something, per Politico:  

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said on Tuesday he intends to push ahead on six nominations, several of which are proving controversial among Republicans.

What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously, there are like 892 quadtillion vacancies where Dictator Nobummer has yet to place his librul minions who will carry out his top-secret project, code-name: Smashmortions-Smunlimited.

Surely the Republicans would like a well-functioning government with quality personnel in place to smoothly and seamlessly execute the laws that Congress has passed, right? To think otherwise -- say, that Republicans are so ideologically entrenched that they would rather see the government fail in every aspect no matter how many people were hurt/starved/unschooled in the process -- well, that would be the height of cynicism, and not the kind of wares we peddle at this here mommyblog.

So how are the Republicans being 100% reasonable? Take it away, not-at-all hysterical Lindsey Graham, per The Hill:  

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) said Monday he will block confirmation of all of President Obama’s nominations until U.S. personnel who witnessed the 2012 terrorist attack in Benghazi, Libya, are made available to congressional investigators.

It's completely reasonable to bring the government to a screeching halt because you want to make political hay out of a tragedy that resulted in the death of four Americans. That is not at all like pissing on the corpses of those who died in service to their country, and we wouldn't stand for anyone to suggest such a thing.

Who is Reid trying to get approved, anyway? With all this bluster, they must be crazy wackjobs in really top governmental positions.

While most of the nominees teed up by Reid appear to be set for easy Senate approval, there are two difficult, immediate hurdles for Senate Democrats: Patricia Millett’s nomination to the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals and the nomination of Rep. Mel Watt (D-N.C.) to lead the Federal Housing Finance Agency.

Seriously? We don't know much about the Watt guy, but since the Club for Growth is against him, we're pretty sure that means he is reasonable and well-qualified.

As for the courts, well, Sen. John Cornyn has some brilliant legal analysis as to why the Senate shouldn't confirm Ms. Millett:

“There’s simply not enough work to do on that court,” said Senate Minority Whip John Cornyn of Texas.

Oh, really, Mr. Senator Cornyn? You are saying that there is a Constitutional position that doesn't have enough work to do, so we should just say, "Ah, fuck it?" Perhaps, if we try really really hard, we could find another branch of government that seems to have... say... 533* too many people in it.

But his fine legal mind isn't stopping there. Cornyn continues:

He called Obama’s nominations of Millet part of plan “to simply pack the court in order to tilt the court ideologically in a way that favors the big government agenda of the Obama administration. We intend to stop it.”

In this case, "pack the court" means actually filling the three vacancies. On the federal court. As mandated by the FUCKING CONSTITUTION. The Constitution, the main source of masturbatory material for the GOP, actually mandates that Presidents nominate people to serve on federal courts. This is not some crazy plan hatched deep in the heart of Kenya to take over the United States, but rather the fulfillment of Constitutional duties.

So hooray for the Senate being back in town. Come along, fellow, journamalists. Let's cover these suit-clad walking, talking poopsicles and continue to pretend that we are living in a functioning democracy. America, fuck yeah.

 *Stormin Mormon and Rosa DeLauro get to stay, because AWESOMESAUCE. 

[ Politico / The Hill ]